searching the extrodinary in something ordinary

2011-02-23T07:36:00.002+08:00

The hours and the days passes so quickly that there sometimes just doesn't seem to be enough time to take a deep breathe. But when you do u find yourself having only blinked for a second and completely missed the connecting train. There are so many things to be responsible for that I feel I could never fully deal with everything at one go. Yet to stagger things would only mean that there us a possibility you are going to miss one thing as time still continues moving. ppl continue growing older. Oportunuties continue to come and pass. Perhaps the idea is to always make full use of the time Tat you have and really just do the best that you can every single moment that you spend doing something instead of being half assed or not do it at all

2011-01-12T12:50:00.001+08:00

Back online. Trying out this thing on iPhone. I need to plan more structured blogpost for the other blog and just check in here more often

2010-12-24T01:45:00.002+08:00

So i am back here once more, starting what i have kept stopping over and over again. I am suppose to be blogging in min-azad.com but i haven't in a long time. I am not good at doing something consistently. I wish i was. I am easily distracted, and easily messed up. Perhaps i will make this my emo page for now. Because that page is meant for something less deep and dark. I have to start digging my brain's for ideas once more as i have abandon my artsy fartsy streak to be more realistic. Scary thing is it no longer scares me. Growing up means living out the things which you promised urself will never happen to you or struggling hard to keep them at bay. I might be loosing the battle

2009-02-01T22:22:00.003+08:00

This is going to be a rather vague post. Its just in general things that are swimming around in my head........so bear with me. I think for now this blog isn't going to make sense to anyone. But i am too lazy to start a new one so que sera sera. Till i really get my butt to write about something more exciting and interesting just ignore me.

I think for this couple of days i happen to have put certain things into perspective in my life. I see things clearer now that i manage to make sense and piece together the puzzle of what i couldn't make sense of before. But there is still more work in progress to understand things, as there are still things which puzzles me. And by putting things into perspective the good things is certain things don't upset me that much anymore. They still do, but not to a paralyzing effect. I am learning to let things slide. I think why let things upset you when you can walk out there and say "Hey I am going to do my best to be happy". Cliche as it sound, they say you've got a choice to be happy or sad. So why not choose happiness. i used to tell myself, its just the way u look at things. Well i think i happen to have forgotten that advice. Hey how come no one repeated that back to me. I thought i was famous for always saying that. Oh well. I hope I am coming back stronger and better. Now i am hopeful and determine. *Motivational talk to self. Throw in some war cry* ke ke ke. So i am better than that, don't let the little things pull me down. Look at the bigger picture. Some things are just not worth fretting over. Try your best. And love yourself.

2009-01-29T22:45:00.002+08:00

A while back i happen upon the knowledge of a guy named Randy Pausch and his last lecture. It was a lecture he gave when he knew he was a few months away from his own mortality. I don't remember how or where i found out about this but i told myself that I would like to watch this as it is on youtube and it was suppose to be thought provoking. Time pass and that thought drifted into the back of my head. But recently i felt that i needed some perspective on life as i seem to have fallen into a dark cloud. Somehow I was reminded of this. And so now i am watching this hour plus lecture. I am only 2 minutes in and i already find him inspirational. And i think i'd like to share this with others as well. So here is the video

2009-01-21T21:58:00.002+08:00

I am currently very exhausted. I had tons of things running through my mind that i wanted to blog about, but all has evaporated as usual. I have resolved to bring along a mini diary to write my thoughts down whenever they do pop up but i have yet to have done so. And i think my sentence structure at the moment clearly shows that my brain can barely piece together a decent flow of sentences. But i want to blog anyways. They say practice makes perfect. So i am doing something practicing. very long nv write essay alr oh. Ignore me. I am just rambling.....

2009-01-15T15:04:00.003+08:00

Its a Thursday and i am here sitting at home cause i am out of commission. I have been down with this damn flu for a few weeks and its kinda scary to be sick for so long. Especially since i barely do get sick. So i went to the doctor again for the 3rd time and he gave me some more meds and an mc for the day. So here i am taking things easy and just resting. Hopefully i get my health back quickly, because i have so many things i want to do and being sick makes it less enjoyable. Especially when i only have 2 more weeks or so before Michelle leaves again. As it is with Rae things were kinda rushed as well. Why u guys have to go so far! and why plane tickets have to be so exxy. If not i will gladly fly over to spend the weekend with u. Sigh being emo.

And i can't wait to hit the gym full force to get rid of the many pounds i have gained. I have originally wanted to start since the christmas weekend but the flu has absolutely crippled my efforts. So much for trying. So far i have only went for 2 jogs or so and a yoga class. Hope things pick up and start rolling soon. New yr, gotta start packing in those must dos!

2009-01-13T00:33:00.003+08:00

i want to write again. A year ago i told myself i wanted to jump back into writing a blog regularly but it doesn't seem like i have kept that resolution. I have tried but failed. But now i am going to try once more. I think it doesnt matter even if i write irrelevant things just as long as i keep writing. But i do wish i have a common topic to guide me.

So a new yr has arrived and the funny thing about new years are that somehow once the final day of a year has passed, it seems as if everything starts of with a clean slate. Life starts again and new resolutions are made. It doesn't matter if the ones u made last year was not met. Perhaps u might have felt like a failure for not meeting that resolution. But once 1st January hits everything is alright and we start anew and make our resolutions again promising that this year we will definitely stick to it. Well there is always hope.

2008-09-16T20:48:00.003+08:00

I finally finished a book recently and started a new one today, although i still have quite a few half read books lying around. Sometimes i feel sad for these books left neglected and forgotten. But for a while i was wondering how come reading seem to feel so much like a task. Sometimes i happen to buy book because they are cheap and there are many an odd title lying around in my house now. Not necessarily the most main stream of titles. I mean books are books right? You still get entertainment reading words made to form a story. Or so i try to tell myself. But today i rediscover the beauty of a good book and how it draws you into it as if you are living a different world in a different time every time you open the book and plunge into it. I devoured the book so hungrily and it was only the author's foreword. I anticipated every next sentence to draw me into the world of the author. There you can find respite from the real world if only for a moment and perhaps imagine yourself in the shoe of the story's character.

2008-09-08T21:06:00.000+08:00

Sigh once again i have lost the plot. And to think i was all set and gung ho to write up a storm. But instead i went missing for almost 4 months. And i even promised to blog about my birthday celebrations with piccies and all. Well time seem to have a way of catching up with us don't they. Well its time to find inspiration again and start blogging. Taking more pictures and posting it. I shall not be lazy. But for today i shall slack a while more and just click publish on this short and simple meaningless post just to break my long absence. Lets hope the momentum will continue rolling.

2008-05-01T01:06:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday to me. Thank you everyone for wishing me and remembering my birthday. And i am officially 24 now. Yippee!!!! I did have a good time today with close friends and i really appreciate everyone making the effort to turn up. I wish it would have lasted longer but i understand the circumstances. And also I absolutely understand if you couldn't make it ( you know who you are *wink* *wink* ke ke ke), its part of the adult life, commitments and responsibilities. So more about the dinner thing in the next post. Now i just want to emo abit.

So turning 24, I think this is the turning point where birthdays are something dreaded instead of anticipated. I am sure everyone had waited eagerly to turn 17 to get their drivers license and then 18 to be legal in someways and last but not least 21 to be legally an adult though mostly just in law. 21 seems like such a magical number back then. Of hopes of freedom, perhaps as far as imagining ourselves to own our own place, own car and not having so much to depend on our parents. Having our own life do what we want to do. Then 21 came and gone. And the reality is nothing much that was hoped for or imagined seemed to have realized. and 21 rolled into 22 and then 23. And then the numbers suddenly seemed to be turning so big it threatens to avalanche. What has happened to the years and all the wide eyed wonder of living it out. I feel like i am stuck in between two very different worlds. At one hand i am not the matured, well composed sophisticated 24 yr old living a high flying life i wish i was. On the other hand i am not the young, care free, fun and "naive" girl. The truth is 24 isnt that old. If you think about it, it isn't old at all. So why is it i feel as if i should not go crazy and wild and just absolutely reckless but at the same time i don't feel as if i am all that there yet to be that well thought out, settled and straight minded adult. To tell you the truth i am scared out of my wits that i am missing out on the best time of my life to just freaking be reckless and go with my heart. I alr have the destination i just dont have the fuel. I am trying so hard to break out of this shell which is holding me back from what i think i wish to do. Just let me be childish for a little while and not need to think so hard about the consequences like i always do. So as much as i was given two wishes today blowing candles to two cakes, what I really wish is that for at least the remainder of the year that i am able to throw caution in the wind and just live life. And also meet that special someone. Yes i admit i am getting desperate. But fuck it anyways. Like i say throw caution into the wind and live life to the fullest. I am gonna go get what i want. Or at least practice trying to get what i want until i manage to get it right.

2008-04-25T22:33:00.000+08:00

So two weeks has passed since my last post. But am i even keeping count. I am surprised that anyone even comes here anymore but hello *waves* and thanks for visiting and commenting Shirley and Yang and the others that i might not know off ke ke ke. I really think its time for me to revamp this whole blogging thing. I was juggling with the idea of starting a fresh new blog, clean slate and nicer and more organized. But then well somehow things just happens to crop up and at least 2/3 of my week will be filled with being out somewhere doing something and being home just in time to do a little reading and going to sleep and the rest i am so dead tired.

As it is to get things going, i have resorted to carrying my camera with me to work and where ever i go just so i dont miss photo taking opportunities of interesting things as well as reminding myself on what i plan on writing. But so far i haven't been taking that many pictures and i havent even posted any of them. So let me start off by showing some food picture.

Now besides the whole blog thing. I have also resoluted to go try out new food place than being boring and going to the same old place over and over again. Really trying my hardest to spice up my life where possible. So last thursday, I decided to meet suet li up for dinner in pyramid and try one of the new place that the new wing had to offer. We finally decided on this korean restaurant called che go. Its been a long long while since i had any korean food. And i was particularly thinking of kimchi fried rice or their ja jiang mien. Well didnt see any jia jiang mien or even bulgokgi but at least i saw my kimchi fried rice. The price is not too bad i guess but not by any means cheap. The fried rice taste quite nice but perhaps slightly mild for my liking. The kimchi kick was not really there. Oh well. Other than that there was only perhaps one or two more thing which i might consider trying out. So perhaps won't be going back there too eagerly any time soon.

Now I think i am still not great at this whole photo blogging thing. Laine is really getting to be a pro at it. Just look at the food pictures she take. Damn pro wei. Anyways I only managed to take a picture of my bowl of kimchi fried rice which didnt turn out that great anyways. And no picture of the shop front even. Damn fail. but practice makes perfect i guess, so i shall try taking as much as i can.

Other than that, last Saturday i met up with Suet Li again this time for shopping in the little boutiques in SS15. Even that took us about 3 hrs. So imagine shopping in pyramid. Gosh. I particularly wanted to check out cats whiskers coz it seems they have some nice collection. But maybe i didn't dig hard enough since i only ended up purchasing one top. Wanted to get this other dress which i really liked, but there wasn't a new piece and the display one was not in too great a condition. Wasted. other than that there was some shoes which i liked. But i have alr set my eyes on a pair of red shoes from vincci so i dare not splurge too much. Less i become too over indulgent in shopping. My conscience wouldn't allow that. That and i really should be getting my essentials 1st. Coz i am hopelessly lacking in a nice casual heel, a casual flats and a nice mini tote bag. So it would be crazy and senseless to splurge on indulgence before i got those.

Besides the top i got myself a jacket to wear at work to look smart and stay warm. Total damage was about rm100 not too bad. But the top was slightly steep for rm 50 since its quite simple. But this is what happen when i let the crazy side get the better of me. I just wanted to buy something that day, anything.

And while we were shopping we stumbled across this newly opened dessert shop which sell ice cream top with fresh fruit. The picture for the strawberry ice cream just totally caught our attention. So we had to have it. Like who can resist mounds of strawberries. Well the price was perhaps slightly high though. rm 10 per serving. But we shared so i guess its still ok. Not too bad. I would want to go back to try their mango version. Only managed to capture this one image before we continued endulging. I almost forgot to take the picture. And you can see from the indented ice cream that i have alr started eating ke ke ke.

2008-04-11T22:20:00.000+08:00

Things to take note; stuffs that potentially screws up KTM schedules - nothing in particular! they are able to screw it up all by themselves. But on top of that, things get pretty ugly when A. It is thunderstorming like hell and B. There is some stupid PC fair shit which i have to endure twice a yr, not to forget other stupid fairs which might attract tons of ppl to KLCC. Then the shit totally hits the fan. Because not only does the delay cause 2 groups of ppl (one waiting for the earlier train and one waiting for the supposedly later train to come) to be stuffed into one train. The ppl from the PC fair also joins in the fun.

So today i was waiting for the 6.17 train and due to probably one delayed train previously and the PC fair ppl it was too stuffed to board. Then they decided to cancel one train which causes the next train to only leave the first station in 20 minutes time. So 20 minutes on top of traveling time probably means 35 - 40 minutes of wait. I decided to go sit in mcdonalds and have my nuggets which i was craving for to see if i can perhaps wait for the crowd to clear. When i got back, the condition was even worst than before. And even when the train arrived and ferried some ppl away there was so many ppl left behind that there was barely any standing space on the platform. So i had this bright idea that perhaps i could take the lrt to kelana jaya and take the bus home. Anything is better than waiting not knowing when the next train will come and if the damn crowd will clear. ( pretty obvious it wouldn't clear till the next train or two or even more). Well everything was smooth sailing, the train was decently filled and at one point i even got to sit. Until i reached kelana jaya and had to wait for the bus for almost an hour. And so guess what time i finally reached home since leaving the office at 530. The answer is probably, i would have alr reached penang liao.

I guess that's malaysian public transport for you. Anyhow die. I do realize i have been blogging more on public transport than anything since i started work. I might as well just open a new blog dedicated to stupid stuffs that happen taking them. But then again who would want to read such boring stuffs. I am sure ppl who take them sure won't want to.

Anyways I think the way this blogs run somehow mirrors my life. Sometimes days just flies by like a blank slate. And nothing gets recorded. Before i know it i am already 2 weeks ahead. Life has been eventful yet mundane at the same time. Then again being a working adult, well work is work. I only wish work was more of an adventure. At least i have brought my non-work life out of the doldrums a little. Been going through some bouts of doubts and revelation about life and work. Yet I can't say i have come to a conclusion. I hate it that when you finally thought you have come to a plateau and gotten comfortable and at peace with who you are that you are suddenly forced to evaluate that comfort. But cest la vie, although having found that comfort also means i am more in a "fuck u if you don't like who i am" kind of mind set and then turns back to ponder if that is confidence or just delusional.

2008-03-24T22:19:00.000+08:00

I think the best time to write really is when you are stuck in a bus or a train having nothing to do but think. Somehow on my way back today this thought struck me. " Everthing comes back into a full circle". I forgot if it was with an irony or fondness that the thought came to me. More soul searching. Its funny how when you thought u found yourself tat you have to return to the begining and rethink that notion.

2008-03-23T02:46:00.000+08:00

I find it interesting how easily it seems to loose yourself just when you are not looking. Just when you thought you have everything down pat the next thing you know you are not who you think you were. Perhaps i just imagined the whole time that i knew myself perhaps its just a sudden lost of self confidence. But somehow its become some sort of de javu that i have been in this same position sometime in the past. Figuring out who i really am. Strange.

2008-03-21T22:58:00.000+08:00

You know its been a long time since i really sat down and bore my soul. Not that i really know where my soul has been lately. Been pretty melancholy (to put it nicely instead of saying depressed) lately. Sounds romantic even, dang if only i have a man in my life right now. Anyways been listening to some oldies lately. ABBA and beatles ha ha ha. I only know a few beatles songs. But yesterday i heard this one which really caught me. I dunno about the rest but i barely listen to songs because of the singer but more of how the song catches my fancy. So anyways here goes "Here comes the sun" by beatles.

Just makes me feel so serenely happy listening to it. I think i am an old soul. But then again i love new music too. I think if i had the chance to have learned music when i was younger i'd probably be doing music now. I feel so jealous of those that had music education. But thats life i guess. Live and let live. But i have to be thankful that at least parts of my life has been good. I think if compared to some i'd be considered spoilt. So i try not to take things for granted.

Its funny how i'd turn out to be an engineer when i really love dance and music and arts. But i guess loving it and making a living out of it is always different. But i think perhaps it still works out for the better coz i think now i have to ability to persue it given of course i dont loose the plot.

Anyways been about 3 months since i started work. I anticipated but nv thought what a difference working life can be. Lately i feel that what i thought i knew, eventhough is true i still cannot imagine how it effects me. Its just strange living it out than having it all in ur head. Its different. Some stuffs happen sooner than i thought and some not quite yet. And relationships with people have been turned pretty upside down. I have to say i have been lucky to have met some great ppl and avoided most of the time the bitchy, vicious, petty types. I wouldn't say i have met them on full force now. But then when i was in uni well i pretty much didnt really have to deal with it if i didnt want to. I mean its just more of a let them be kind of thing. But when u are in an enclosed and small area for like 9 hrs a day 5 days a week. Well not much place to run. But then its not really as bad as it sounds la. Just sometimes i blow things out of proportions in my head sometimes. But then again i do realize there toxic ppl in companies that just makes u feel so ughhh and like they say things that just make u feel bad. Perhaps they get a kick out of it. Which when i think about it is really sad. Them that is

I have someone that kept asking me why am i laughing all the time and if i have some personal dilema and one that keeps reminding me i am not as pretty as the hottest gal in the office. I try not to give a shit. But there is just so much a sane person can take. Sigh, time to face up to reality and deal with these toxic ppl i guess. But i try not to give a shit and just be better. Coz deep down i know that i am better than that.

2008-03-08T15:42:00.000+08:00

You know what, i haven't blogged for so long that i even forgot what my site is called any longer. Sigh, things haven't change i am still distracted by other things even as i am not in Uni anymore. I guess i have just been making excuses all along. Though yes i am evidently less tied up than in Uni when every hr is dedicated to finishing assignments and projects that is when i am not slacking off. Anyways then again i have been missing internet connection since 2 mth ago. And damn does one month feels like one week. Although because of the lack of internet connection that felt like one yr. Not sure if u get what i meant. Anyways been trying to catch up with all the youtubing i have been missing. Its like if i dedicate my whole life to watching youtube i will still not finish it.

And then there is all the dance competitions that US have been coming up with in reality tv. And dance has nv left my bone even as i haven't had a chance to in a while. Gonna look into taking up mayba a hip hop or salsa class soon though i wish i could do both. But i also want to do yoga so i have to pick 2 fr 3. I know i need some exercise going even as i am fearing i have alr grown sideways some what. So anyways back to the dance reality tv thing. Its like my heaven, as of now that i know of there is approximately 4 if not more dance reality tv shows. And this is a snippet from it.

Gosh from all the dancing days while watching korean mtv this has gotta be something which says koreans are some bad ass dancers. I dont think all of them are koreans but imagine entering as an asian team and battling out with those other US teams which are obviously more known for their mtv hip hop break dance moves. Wow, amazing. Inspiring.

2008-01-13T21:19:00.000+08:00

So quickly 2007 has ended and we are already into week three of two-oh-oh-eight. Time and again i keep saying how time flies. And i have every urge to push that stop button or stomp on the brake to make the time go slower. Coz it feels as if there is so many things i want to do but so little time to do it. And especially when we are working and the only time that we have for ourselves is on the weekends. And then even as it is we have to divide to personal time for maintenance like facial, laundry house work and hang out time with friends etc, etc. I wonder when will the whirl wind ever slow down to a soothing breeze. Perhaps when we are 60.

As it is my weekends have been zooming pass me like crazy and i have yet to achieve what i need to get done. So far any attempts to shop has utterly failed. I have yet to get a single piece of clothes and shoes for work or for play. I havent gotten any baking done, neither have i gotten any reading done. And to say i want to learn how to invest or pick up a new skill seems to be kinda far fetched at the moment. I guess i need to get used to my new lifestyle and just try to build everything else on top of it. Sooner or later things will settle i guess. As of now, i have a paintball game on next Saturday morning which i wonder if i will be able to squeeze my shopping in after that. I also need to shop for my new glasses. Sunday is bak kut teh with michelle and then not sure whats after that. More shopping perhaps. I need to get a solid plan, or else things will just not work out at all. More blogging later

2007-12-31T00:05:00.000+08:00

Its the end of 2007 and i think most of us have grown up quite some from when we last parted or seen each other or what not. And i guess its quite amusing to put their mv here as well. Remember the time when we, or rather most of us had hots for either one of them. And Jerry is cin's lo kong in taiwan. Well i guess they have also grown up quite abit. And i just find that it hits a note somewhere as somewhat of a significance to how far we might have come.

2007-12-24T23:01:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Once again its the end of the year and Christmas is here. Somehow this year, christmas seemed a little quieter for me. Not that i celebrate it in the first place. But the ambiance seemed to be slightly different from the past yrs. Perhaps because i have been working and visiting less of the shopping centres? But nevertheless i have one week of hols for me to catch up on the celebrations spirit as well as with friends. So Have a merry christmas to the rest of you that i might not see.

2007-12-18T23:48:00.000+08:00

I gain more than i could possibly loose;
Because i have more than one bet on the table;
Write me off if u'd like;
But i'd bounce back stronger than ever;
I don't doubt u'd do the same;
The only difference is i saw it coming and u never;

Hmmm its been sometimes since i wrote any poems. Just some words i strung together. I'd like to turn it into a lyrics or something too. Maybe i might be some famous song writer one day ha ha ha. Anyways hols is coming soon. x'mas is coming. Some ppls' birthdays are coming * wink *wink. And 2008 is also coming. Amazing how unreal it feels. Anyways blog more soon . Toodles

2007-12-07T22:39:00.000+08:00

The weekends has arrived. Yayness!!!! and i can dont sleep early ha ha ha. And what i do? ha ha ha watch stuffs like this:

beside the knut cute videos.

Anyways 5 days of public transport has given me total randomness of experience. And the week ended with the mother of all public transport frustration. total off schedule and mad crowds which saw it spilling out to the entrance of the klcc lrt. And the monorail was not any better with sardines even being less packed in their tins.

Now what is so wrong with malaysia that they can't both get their public transport as well as their jam free roads right. Simple solution to both problems would be for an efficient system with no delays and break downs. Or at least not on a weekly basis. When you have a good public transport system ppl will naturally op for public transport which clears the road off some amount of cars which would then lessen the jam. And the ppl taking these systems should really learn to line up and not shove and push and expect ppl to squeeze into the smallest cranny just so they are one space nearer to getting the next cab. Somehow these educated ppl who work in high rise buildings are no different than the non-civilized ppl out there. Perhaps even ruder. Worst still is when the place isn't even crowded and they push and shove to get in even as they are sure to get a space. What is so hard about lining up and waiting for your turn i don't understand. Sigh..... I hope i will survive the madness of public transportation .

2007-12-06T22:09:00.000+08:00

Btw, I want a polar bear for my birthday pressie ha ha ha. So ccuuuuttteeee

2007-12-06T21:04:00.000+08:00

And so i have started work and survived somewhat almost a week traveling down to kl everyday. I thought of working in KL but nv imagined that i would really be doing just that. And its mostly because when i think of the traveling i shudder. I get the same reaction from quite a few ppl so i guess its not just me. But i am getting used to it. So far i haven't feel the dread of going to work just yet and i am all bright eyed over everything. Oh and another thing which i did not expect really was to work for an oil and gas related company. So i am pretty amused by how unpredictable life can be. I am loving it so far. The company seems like a good place to start. The truth is i have no idea how i managed to get myself in there ha ha ha. But i will value the opportunity and work hard to remain there and up the ladder. So much things to say. But have to wait for the weekends when i have more time. Toodles now

2007-11-21T17:02:00.000+08:00

Hola :P i nv blog so long till laine left a message when i finally posted last last week or so ha ha ha. Yeah i am back. I think i went for a sabbatical from existence. Can't believe its been 2 mths almost 3 mths since i officially graduated and close to 5 mths since i left uni. Time flies time flies. I really dunno what i did with all this time eh. I was suppose to post about my graduation but then i got lazy/busy ? ha ha ha. Soon soon. I still have it fresh in my memory and the pictures are still here minus the one from wei sern's cam :P. Well when i graduated i posted that i closed a chapter of my life and am waiting for the next chapter to begin. So it is apt to announce here that I am opening next chapter begining dec 3. I hope if i haven't get to any of you before u read this or if i forgot to update anyone, that u guys dont kill me. But its not official till i sign the papers on friday. I am employed. And now like everyone else i need to wake up real early to get my butt to kl. More about this when its official. Lets hope everything goes smoothly

2007-11-07T23:29:00.000+08:00

Its been a while since i have actually written anything. I forget how writing to express oneself is something so liberating. I haven't really been doing what i would usually do for quite sometime now. I haven't written nor have i read, at least seriously. Strange that i find reading to be a chore. I long for the day when i feel the joy of curling up in a cozy corner to read a book once more. Interestingly november has also arrived. And it is the nanowrimo once again. I wonder when will be the day when i do actually sit down and write and achieve that agenda of writing just for nanowrimo. Also i wonder how interesting it would be to be a copyrighter. At least for a short period of time. To think of ways to describe a product with such convincing words to make it desirable. But then again, nothings as lovely as it seems. Cest la vie. till next time

2007-08-30T21:52:00.000+08:00

I am sitting here at home on the eve of merdeka just as any other day. The 50th year that Malaysia achieved independence. The campaigns have been going on forever to remind us of how Malaysia has reached half a century of independence. Not that it has actually made a very deep impression but more of something that showed up stayed and got pushed and faded into the background or rather my background like a humming refrigerator only for me to notice its presence when i do care to observe more carefully. Not sure if the rest feels the same. Strangely enough, the merdeka of any other years before these seemed more significant and stood out more than this yr. Perhaps too much hoo ha made me feel tired of it before it even arrived.

Throughout the whole "50 years of merdeka" campaign, various newspaper ran some sort of columns asking people what does 50 years of merdeka mean to them. I had only managed to skim through one or two of these articles really and i guess some of them are pretty much close to textbook answers albeit personal ones while some did give generally acceptable criticism. But those only scratches the surface of what the everyday people of Malaysia thinks. I think in real life there would be an earful that people have to say of what they think about 50 years of merdeka for Malaysia. And not all of them will be something good. 50 years is indeed a long way to have traveled for a country and even more for its people which are so diverse. And there has been battle scars to show for that. Although what we have now might not be ultimately something which can be called perfect or perhaps even close to perfect, but the fact is there are countries which are worst. There could be countries which are better of course but they aren't perfect either. What irks me the most is when people say with somewhat of an arrogance how great these other places are before they even live there. Don't get me wrong, i am not a very patriotic person either, but at least if you have to, do the comparison when you have already been staying there for a while instead of comparing with some imaginary "perfect" world. That is not even half the problem. But the fact is this type of mentality as well as a general dissatisfaction is pretty prevalent. And the cause for this as with many problems is the lack of proper and thorough communication. So many issues which are deemed too sensitive to discuss. And perhaps it isn't untrue, there are still people which mentality aren't able to accept this kind of openess in discussion. But i don't think ultimately sweeping the issues under the carpet is going to solve things. Just like an over protective parent prove to do more harm to the child. So perhaps at the half way point to a century of independence is an apt time to think of a way to gently but surely push these children on their way to a growth that will bring with it maturity and openess of discussion to solve a much deeper problem.

So what does 50 years of merdeka mean really when there are still so much deep seated sentiments or lack thereof still unsolved. In terms of independence from external forces, these 50 years is worth celebrating as we stand as a free nation, a country which we call our own. But in terms of the people and mentality, much is left to be done. Perhaps another 50 yrs down the road there can be a better answer

2007-08-27T17:22:00.001+08:00

The countdown begins. 12 days before i officially launch my lazy ass to seriously look for a real job. It has finally sink in that my travel plans are history and i have now redirected my heart into a correct general direction of looking for a serious job. I still dont really have a very good idea what kind of position i would like to go for. And talking to seng kiat hasnt done much to boost my confidence. I just hope it doesnt take me 6 months to look for a job touch wood. Even as i am a believer that good things comes in due time i dont think i want to find out what 6 mths will do my confidence and i am not getting any younger. I think i am slightly dying to start on my career and see how far i can go. And at the same time once i start my career, it also means i can start pursuing my future plans which involves my other loves.

Now back to looking for the current job, I wonder how high the odds are stacked against me. I guess i would only find out when i go for my very first interview. Provided i get called for one (ok i am over exaggerating) . That and i wonder if i should employ the help of job agencies. After all the magazines says that this is one way of getting your resumes on the HR tables as oppose to DIY mailing applications. But somehow i dont seem to have too great an impression of job agencies i don't know why. But working in the admin side for that few weeks did give me some insight to how job agencies does play a part in getting your resumes seen. Only problem is whether it is the company that you desire. The whole mechanics of employment seeking can be considered quite an art really.

Maybe it sounds like i am worrying too much. So perhaps i should employ both nike's and adidas' Just do it and Impossible is nothing phrase because deep down under all those uncertainties is what i feel.

2007-08-23T15:07:00.000+08:00

last weekend i finally got myself out of my house to go work. I realized that if not for work i will somehow be stagnated at home and be unproductive and aimless. So its a good thing and an extremely refreshing change to have an aim when you wake up, which is to go to work. And amazingly for that three days i did not once miss my computer one bit. Which frighteningly enough is the case of late. It is just an unknowing addiction that creeps up on me when i let it. And is quite similar to being a tv addict which i once was. I am no longer a tv addict, and i barely turn on the tv or have a long list of must watch shows. Now the only show which i closely follow is the ghost whisperer and perhaps criminal minds which these past weeks i have given up due to certain circumstances.

This might sound like an improvement perhaps but the half truth behind this is my addiction has shifted over to the internet with youtube being able to offer the stuffs that i am able to choose to watch when and as much as i would like. The other half of my addiction on the computer is partly due to trying to get more temp jobs to at least support me for the time being, but which in turn keeps me on doing other stuffs while waiting for more job updates. A vicious cycle i tell you. Its kinda a lose lose situation, and absolutely, sickeningly soul sucking. I need to find some way to get away. Some one hand me another 3 days job maybe. And at least it means i have more money to spend :P and get myself away from the computer. Now that is wat i call a win win situation.

2007-08-15T00:42:00.000+08:00

You know what. My concentration is an absolute mess. I was staring at this page of chinese words and even as i might be able to make out most of the words some how i find it so troublesome to do so. But at the same time i really wish i could continue learning to recognize them. And i was also suppose to learn Japanese and at the same time do research for my journal paper. Some one tell me how to concentrate. I want to learn alot of thing but my concentration is my absolute down fall.

So anyways, rant aside today i got myself out of the house to attend a briefing for this ushering job which i applied for online and got. Pays 50 for 3 hrs of work. Now doesn't that sounds good. I know it sounds risky being online and all but i dunno, sometimes i think we need to take calculated risk. Turns out for the good i would say. It is a legitimate event company and perhaps meaning more future jobs? Not that i plan or hope to need to work long in events as good as the pay might seem to be. But as far as i am concerned i will probably start looking for jobs after the graduation ceremony. ( Some sort of time frame that i set for me to bum till) But at the mean time, it does not mean that i will get a job or even find one that i like tat quickly so side income is good. So there at least my dry spell kinda lifted a little, even if the money is only a trickle. I am probably fortunate i still live under my parent's roof. I am thinking however though will there be a day when i decide to move out, and not because i am getting married. When i was younger i actually anticipated it, but then things changes, conditions changes and many different thoughts ran through my mind about this. Not something that any one person other than myself will ever understand. Those monsters in my closet. Part of me still yearns to while part of me is afraid. I hope that i will manage to find an answer to my problem very soon. Sometimes i wish to be able to live a little more carefree and leave those millions of considerations behind. Pssst... let u in on a secret, one of those is regarding family. You know there was one person which when i heard went off to singapore for work caught me slightly by surprised. (oon ee would know who i am talking about) But then again i could absolutely understand how that happened and perhaps i do not know the whole story behind it but i can imagine what might have conspired. And i salute her. Looks like i havent really started a new chapter of my life after all. I am still hovering on the ending page of my previous chapter.

2007-08-13T14:15:00.000+08:00

Its wierd how almost 10 days have passed since my last post. Got so fast meh. Doesnt feel like that also. Make me feel like wo de ren sheng hen wu liao oh(like my life so meaningless) . Lately i have been totally watching all those taiwanese shows which i did not managed to when i was stressing over assignments so thats why suddenly my personal narration also turn into mandarin base liao. But i think i am more "chinese" than i let myself believe sometimes. Not that it is a bad thing really, just that i dont really put myself into a category and when it is brought up it doesnt register.

Anyways, this few weeks i have been living a life which i couldnt imagine, and not in a good way. Arghh i hate to admit that i have been absolutely bumming wei. Just fallen into this dark hole of bummingness. And i am disgusted that i can't even get myself to wake up early enough to go jog in the field. Trust me, this feeling is absolutely scary, as if there isnt a meaning to life, no aim, no goals. Is this how depression feels like? But then i have decided to take up something which should at least give me some purpose although i am not so sure if i really want to do it. I am writing a paper which is partially an extension of my thesis. As if it is some kind of self confirmation. And apparently i will have to give a talk in a conference if my paper gets published. *sweat* I have two minds over this and i have some problems getting started. So i think sorting my thoughts through words is a good therapy and acts as a spark plug in getting things started. OK feeling more motivated liao. Off to do a little research. Gambatte.

2007-08-04T23:40:00.000+08:00

You know what is the greatest thing about my house. You have got to love it when everytime either summit or pyramid decides to have a fireworks show that i can sit at my study room and stare out the window and admire it. I've got to admit that i dont get to see the whole thing when pyramid does it as summit covers half of it. But still it is so beautiful.

Just now for some reason, pyramid did some fire works. While watching it, i just can't help but let the thought cross my mind that i wish i had some one special to share the moment with. Its been too long. Sigh emo again. But then again it has also been sometime since i thought of this. Now why won't "you" quickly appear. I have waited long enough....

Blah.... life goes on. Now back to reality.

2007-08-04T11:38:00.000+08:00

You know i have always wondered that as i grow older, will i be as crazy about teen idols aka leng chais in drama series. And i can't imagine being 40+ and still drooling over some 20+ guys. As it is now that i am 20+ and some of these guys might only be 17 or 18 with high school girls going ga ga over them. I havent been paying much attention to the boy band scene for a while. I know there was farenheit and dong ban shin ki and i dunno what else. But in my mind this teeny boopers were probably even younger than my brother. Imagine how horrified for a moment i was when i thought i found one of the farenheit members hot. And worst still, thinking it was Wuzun, which maybe one or two of my friend's younger sister that hasnt even taken pmr is having the hots for.

Sweat..... Well turns out its not Wu zun, which i previously thought and still think looks like a pretty boy. But surprisingly he is much older than i thought he was. I was watching Kang Xi Lai Le and they were interviewing farenheit, but the attention was given mostly to this one guy which is why i thought he was wu zun coz they asked him to lift heavy stuffs. Since Wu zun was suppose to be this body builder guy and pretty hot at the moment. I dunno, like i say i havent been keeping up to date. Turns out it was Jiro.

Yeah maybe he also has that pretty boy look. But in Kang Xi he looks so hot with that stripped shirt/ suspenders while lifting ppl. I think he looks best with a suit though. But my pet peeve after going through some of their photos is that. Why why why have to act cute..... sweat. Thats why i think they are way younger when they are not. Oh well.

p.s. : i just realized the one thing that i find so attractive about him. His lips. Guess i am a lips
person. Not a butt person but a lips person.

OK now i am feeling depressed that i can't go to taiwan sob sob. Sigh..... I wanna go taiwan. Not to meet him but just i want to go taiwan !!!

2007-07-30T16:22:00.000+08:00

Sigh, yes i am suppose to be super free and bumming around since two wednesdays ago. Gosh its seems like forever. But I haven't been updating my blog. Bad min! Unlike cindy who is so very the semangat to update her post. Anyways I have been bumming waiting for this one job which i am dying to get. But i guess my run of luck has perhaps died down some what coz now i am jobless and hanging. Pretty disappointing, but somehow i think me and freelance jobs dont quite gel. Everytime it seems like i am getting one in the end it tak jadi. sob sob. Looks like i can forget about any overseas trip completely till i get a permanent job. Somewhat disappointed. Hmm and maybe this means i should get back to Uni to write that darn paper. Might do me some good. Well at least now that i thought of it, I feel like i have more purpose. That and i can feel as if i am studying in new uni at least for that little while. I am a strong believer in "when one door closes, another one opens". And after that i guess its time to get serious in my permanent job hunt. The 2 weeks of bumming has entirely quench my bumming thirst and i am so totally game to jump into the working world seeing as to me not able to find the cash to fund my fun. Only problem, i am still not certain what role i would like to take on. But slightly regretful that i might not get to see a different working world altogether as it is.

Darn, my plans entirely ran off rail as it is now. That is probably the reason why i barely like to plan. So many things i just can't control. As it is now, i am just letting stuffs take its course and i will just catch whatever opportunity comes my way. But seriously i would like to know how it feels to plan and have the plans follow through perhaps at least once.

2007-07-19T21:07:00.000+08:00

Its been a while since i wrote something till before i start writing i have to go and click the view site link to check out what i last said. So yes much has happened. Last paper has come and gone and so has the result. I am apparently still alive and i think i sorta promised a few ppl i would be updating my blog, studio pictures or otherwise. But mostly have seen them anyways, some more complete set of pictures than others. I have yet to completely upload the entire set online as it is so i am going to show just a few of my favorites and then post the address to the complete set later. Sadly there was some mixed up and i am missing a number of my favorite picks from my album :'( sigh.... So here goes.

Not entirely but slightly thanks to the whole picture taking experience my photography bug has been awaken once more. I was once my school's photography club president if only for a few weeks. I gave it up for my second love, singing and also coz my fav teacher somehow gave up the teacher's advisor post. So now i finally bought a digital camera with dad sponsoring me half of it. And i absolutely can't wait to take many an inspiring pictures with it. Below are some experiments from yesterday.

Something that absolutely took my breath away and which i wish i could do in the future is something like this. And i don't mean being the one in front of the lens but the one behind it. Sometimes i wish my life was a multi screen tv, each showing me playing different roles. But i am not going to rule out any possibilities. Life is full of surprises as i have discovered many a time.

Other than that I have stopped blogging for money. Because i feel it is just not worth my time to search like mad for news just for a few bucks. I can do better things with those few precious hours. I also started work at a company and quited as well, some how because the first two days i wasnt happy with being misled and kinda got panicky when i found out i needed to replace a pregnant lady, which means absolute commitment in a less than interesting job for 3 mths. The last thing i need after getting out of a stressful chapter of my life is a smothering boring job even if for 3 mths. I found out later though that i rather like the people there. They are pretty friendly and so i have made friends with a few of them. One thing worth remembering though from this job experience is that for going in with nothing to loose to a different interview i managed to crap my way into being offered an rm 1500 with commission, sales job even as i was interviewing for an admin assistant job. Which i turned down as it did not fit into my plans. Hope that i maintain the condition up till i look for my permanent job so that i can snag a good salary. I will definitely need it. Waiting to see if i can get another job which pays pretty well for a short period of time.

And then traveling plans are still hanging since the money issue isnt absolutely stable for the time being. But no matter what i will definitely travel somewhere. I am just thinking perhaps i should leave plans to travel to aus till next yr end since i will see rae this yr end, and michelle will be off to aussie by early next yr and i'd prob be more financially stable for aus which means more enjoyable experience. So when i do go next yr end i will be able to visit michelle and rae at the same time as well and see melbourne, tasmania and maybe sydney? who knows. Probably slog my ass off in my new job and take the whole annual leave to see aussie. As for now, i'd look for something more affordable like taiwan. Given of course if i can drag laine or anyone else along. Though i have been there b4, and at the back of my mind i am calling myself crazy to return there for my supposed great trip b4 i start work, but it has been 5 yrs. Can't decide!

2007-06-16T16:34:00.000+08:00

Ok on another note, yesterday I went for the studio pics shoot which me, Daphanie and Michelle sorta accidentally planned for since, i would say more than a yr ago. Accidentally because at that time me and Daphi were only temaning michelle to check out the bridal fair thingy so she can ask around for package prices for her to take her port folio pictures. They then put up an offer which seemed pretty attractive given if we between us took 3 packages. Well long story short that stupid 1.99 kinda gimmick worked on me, but also because i am vain la. I wanted to take studio pics also what. The package was rm388 btw which seemed closer to 300 for me. Yes I know ! what women wont do for vainity coz 300 also not a small number. And yes i am more of a girl than i would let myself think for a while now. Sigh, but I couldn't imagine i was much closer to getting that digital camera had i not done this. You don't want to know the bill's total ( I am just glad i paid a 100 deposit one yr ago) , just know that i was definitely able to get a pretty decent digicam, talk about jackall and hyde.

So after a year of trying to get my body in shape kinda and finding a time when all of us are free we finally went to FranceTaipei yesterday. And the day started off on a wobbly foot at least for me. Like i say you don't want to know the bill's total as they pushed some xtra stuffs on us. I have heard of it, just didnt expect it to be that prevelent. But i guess somehow it did help. Well the rest of my day turned out pretty well. I was absolutely laughing througout the day and time flew. I even felt like a mini celeb. My stylist was such a sweet lady and from what i saw in the mirror she did a pretty good job styling me. Although maybe I had a slightly different idea in mind. And she pulled all the stops to get me accesorized properly even as i changed my clothes on the same image a number of times. My photographer was totally hilarious. I am glad i got him, me being the first to get done. Either way from what i see the photographers that we each got were pretty much suitable for our personalities i think. Michelle's one in my opinion was suitable for her cause she needed someone which allowed her to do her thing yet give pointers. And he came accross as a cool controlled professional photographer. Not that the rest was not professional.

Mine was super super funny guy made me laugh and we jibbed each other throughout the whole session. For me i guess i needed someone that could put me at ease and could joke around with. He gave great pointers too. The very moment i stepped into the studio with him he already totally made me feel so comfortable. And good thing is he has an assistant which was a sweet girl. She totally took care of how my clothes looked and fall. So i was wondering how Michelle and Daphi got their clothes right. That or my clothes dont fit me well enough :P.

Daphi's photographer I am not too sure of. I barely got to see him in action. Seem to be a quiet guy, and rather slow. But she seemed to be able to do what she wanted to. And he seemed more suitable taking the kinda picture which she wanted. I cannot imagine mine taking pics for her though perhaps Michelle's one might work. I shall ask her about that tomorrow.

All in all the experience was great. At least the people were nice and didnt give us a hard time which does happen even if the price was a bomb. I got to feel like the center of attention for a day even if i had to pay for it :P. Just hope the pictures turn out great although we will only be able to view it 2 weeks from now. The suspense! And crossing off one more thing on the list of things to do while i am still young. Pictures here when i do get it.

2007-06-16T16:17:00.000+08:00

You know what! its been 2 weeks since week 13 of my *fingers crossed* very final semester. I know i have been whining unrelentingly about how i can't wait for all this to end. The feeling hasn't really changed for the moment. I kinda felt like i got my life back from what engineering stole from me ha ha ha. Which probably puts me in a stupid light. But on the other hand I don't quite regret doing it. Just wish that at the same time there was several of me doing other stuffs maybe. I think i just regret that i am not that over achiever that can do 1001 things at the same time. I don't think anyone can be as complicated of a person as me. But at the same time I acknowledge that i am not realistic enough. Well anyways school is almost over, one m0re paper to go and then i will be in Oon-Ee's words 'bumming" my way around for 4 mths plus before heading over to Aus to do some traveling and then start looking for my permenant job. Sounds like a plan? I hope so!

2007-05-05T21:44:00.000+08:00

Rae always tells me that i put too much pressure on myself. On one hand perhaps i kind of agree with her but on the other hand I am not too sure. You see, the bad thing about me is i have trouble gauging things. My mind works in a rather abstract manner. Which explains why i am absolutely disorganized. Perhaps i would have been better at more artsy stuffs. Strangely i am a soon to be engineer. But then again, if i dont pressure myself..... i'd just end up being too relaxed and nothing would have been done. Now why i am saying this is really that i am pretty surprised that it had only been about a month since my hardware arrived and with all the troubleshooting and all its pretty amazing that it had only been a month. It felt like ages. And It still feels like i havent done enough. (It is my thesis i am talking about btw). I know i could have done more but to think back, no way am i going to let anyone deny that i did do work. Now three more weeks, I am having a hard time telling myself to hang in there. I just feel like ditching it and just running away. Funny thing to say for someone who is about to reach the ending line kind of. But i am just so sick and tired of this whole feeling of uncertainty that i just want things to end. If this was a relationship, I would have just walked out. I know, I know just shows that i am the kind of person that runs away from problems. I admit it, thats me deep down inside or maybe on the surface, I dont really know. But somewhere else there is this other part of me that just wouldn't allow for me to give up. But the end result is this half baked one side that wants to give up and another side that say stay till the end kind of work. Absolutely tiring and stressful experience. But i know looking back that its all going to be worth it ...... i hope. :P

2007-05-02T11:25:00.000+08:00

Turned 23 2 days ago. And when they were putting on the candle for my cake, for a moment i was expecting them to stop at 2 big candles and 1 small candle. I guess i wanted to be forever 21. Tough luck though. But my brothers will be turning 21 this year. I on the other hand dont feel like i am 23 at all. What does 23 implies really? It just seems that i should have long been working. But I guess being in malaysia and taking an engineering degree and having to extend an extra semester doesnt quite help. It is interesting though to see so many 20 somethings younger than me already having built their career. Of late i have been wondering what would have been if i had taken a different road. I wouldn't say i regretted taking engineering but perhaps i would have blazed the course of other choice had i taken it. I've got to say i did have some passion in writing. But who knows. It is just too many what ifs. So i guess we can only make the best of the situations. So now i am waiting and anticipating to close this chapter of my life and open a brand new chapter. And i think it can only get better. I hope so.

2007-04-17T16:35:00.000+08:00

inasmuch as i'd think it is less stressful to just adapt to ppl that have no respect for time and take the saying if you can't beat them join them to heart, I think it is of most outrageousness to make 2 wrongs a right for me to bend as low as them. How is it that ppl are so selfish in these days that their time seem to be more precious than yours. And do not tell me that after living for more than 2 decades u did not realize that do rae mon's door to which ever place of your desire does not exist. And that means it is not possible that when an appointment is at 2pm, that u leave for that place at 159pm. Your mother nv teach you ah. I guess not.

2007-02-07T22:00:00.000+08:00

Hmmm i have been slacking kinda. I just found out there was some changes in blogger. Didnt really pay attention what it was though. Just approved thats all. Probably poke around when i find the time. Which probably is nv. Strangely enough the date 23rd Jan doesnt sound too far away ago, but somehow it still feels like quite a number of days has passed between this date. I am this person which has absolutely no perception of time. Which means i dont do deadlines too well. But one thing though, i am a stickler for time which dont really gel either. I am full of contradictions as it is.

Anyways what events has passed since the 23rd Jan. Kind of strange but it seemed so long ago since i went for the nose shoes warehouse sales. Yeah i think i better put this down for i dont think there will ever again be a time where u will find me purchasing 6 pair of shoes almost at a go. I must have gone bonkers. But at RM 8 a pair, why not. Under normal circumstances however, I would have picked on the fact that the heels are too high for me or the straps too fragile. That is how bad i am. Wanted to load some pics, but i guess that has to wait. Guys being guys however, i got questions like : what do u need 6 pair of shoes for? Not to say i don't get where they are coming from, since i am mostly a one shoe per shoe type person. But i find that having more shoe also means when one of them dies on u or when sudden occasions call for a given type of shoe, u dont have to rush out to get another pair. Which in my case would mean searching in vain for that one shoe that i am willing to purchase. So yeah yay for shoes in storage. I also got a big shiny bag for RM8.

You never know when things will come in handy though, coz i am absolutely loving my bag. Although some might think the color is too over, or rather last season. But that huge bag was absolutely handy for my first casting ;).Yup i went for maggie tvc and also some china milk casting. My first one ever. And i had to cab it to KDU to meet up with michelle after her class so that she and i can go together. So i dumped everything into the bag including make up, just in case and my "new" 3 inch heels, water bottle and other misc. Now i know why ppl like big bags. I have to say though that u can sort of trace my yrs through the size of my bags. From the very early "going out with everything in the pocket and no bag in sight" yrs, to small functional bag, bigger more functional bag for when more things are needed. And i thought that was the biggest bag i would bring out. But i guess i was wrong, now my bag is even bigger. But i am loving it ha ha ha. Did anyone see that coming ?

Well feb just sort of started, but cny is fast approaching, and with that my semester is also quickly starting. I want the semester to quickly end, however that isnt a great idea since i also want time to go slower for me to do my thesis. Why am i such a contradicting person. Will see how things goes. If all goes well i will be graduated by september and hopefully working my ass off in due time to join in the money chase.

2007-01-23T16:57:00.000+08:00

Well the old yr had passed but no customary new yr day post this time around. Till now that is. Nothing much this time around. Last year's new yr eve celebration was kind of subdued, this time around it was kinda subdued too. ie no drinking. Not even a single drop. Nothing crazy. We did have alot of food, met some interesting character and i went home at 7 or was it 8 in the morning having stayed awake for poker the whole night. Blah. Thats about it. Can you tell that i havent really been paying much attention to life. I havent blog, i havent really done much or achieved much or bothered to.

But hopefully a new yr a new begining. I have this fear of predicting things though. I am afraid that when i say something it becomes untrue. But so far things are picking up. And if all goes well, i am hoping things will fall in place, luck and all. Financially, achievements and whatever else. Maybe carreer wise as well.

Anyways, that being say something else is getting wierd. I am getting picked up by 19 yr olds. Twice! Lets hope this isnt an indication about my potential other half. Die die also cannot. But if it is just a warm up session and the age will increase then i say alright.

Ok besides that, i noticed that my jogs are paying off. Although i have been bogged down for a couple of weeks without jogging alr. But my stamina is up. So much better. I can't believe how unhealthy i was. I couldnt even climb a few flights of steps without feeling as if i was about to die. Or run a few steps and cant continue anymore. Now i climb stairs pretty much easily and i ran for cover from the rain the other day quite a distance without having to stop too.

Went to so seminar today related to my thesis but not really. I went alone, i am a chicken or rather i dont quite like being in unfamiliar surroundings alone. But i do it anyways because i have to. Do or die as they say. Can u tell i dont have such a great self esteem? But anyways, luck would have it that i meet up with and old friend. Interestingly he recognise me after not meeting for i would say 5 yrs. Well at least then i didnt have to sit alone with a bunch of strangers for lunch. But i am glad i had the chance to go for something like that coz it gives me the opportunity to learn more about the working world before i jump in. Met another guy from setiawan which is working in a construction company. Sat with us for lunch and started talking. It is always interesting to see some one which has an idea of where he wants to head. And this guy was very much one of those kind. Not bad looking too ha ha ha. But oh well didnt get his business card. Would have been great to have an extra acquitance. Nv know when u might get a good deal for business. Its about time to build network. Thats life yo.

2006-12-10T23:39:00.000+08:00

Its been a long time. I am back i guess. Sort of. Rae i know i promised u a letter or an update. Well letter will be coming anyway sometime soon ha ha ha. So where have i been missing? What do you mean missing? I have been here all the time. Its just that the world disappear. Ok there is an explaination for the silence. You know how kids when scared close their eyes and thinking that no one else can see them as well? Well i think if i dont talk about things then they will not exist. Call it denial, call it avoidence i think as far as i am concern it works, since whatever it is that troubles me is out of my control anyways. All is well after the storm blows through and at the same time it doesnt hurt to not acknowledge the storm. And then when i dont talk, i dont talk at all. Don't laugh , but i think i am such a guy. I think I am quite hopeless. But like they say, things seems worst in the darkness so i am riding it out till the sun comes out. Things are looking better now. So that is that.

So its the year end again. I can't help but feel like stomping on imaginary breaks to slow the damn thing down. The second half of the year felt oddly like a ride down a steep hill at break neck speed. I like that chinese new yr is coming soon but hate that the yr is coming to an end in less than a months time. Can someone tell me when this madness of an F1 ride stops. I feel like i am growing older in the speed of light. Soon i will be old an wrinkly and asking where have my yrs gone. Maybe I should stop and smell the roses. Anyone can teach me how? OK ever the drama queen, but not really. I still think the guy that came up with the Click movie is absolutely spot on at least with me. Sometimes i anticipate a given date that i sort of auto pilot throught the remaining days that lead up to it.

So what else is new. I can bake a loaf of bread. But it still turn hardish the next morning. Its softness only last a day. My cake is still much to be desired. I finish making a set of beaded chocker and bracelet which i think looks nice. I am finishing up my left half hanging taiwanese drama. I finished reading some of the left half hanging books. Most importantly i am reading up for my thesis, got some stuffs up but still needs more work. And i am anticipating some periodic job so i can get paid enough to last me through this month and subsequently have steady trickle( and i mean trickle not gush. maybe one to two) so as to have enough money to last me the months ahead while i work on my thesis. So i have to say so far my live is fairly satisfying. I manage to work on some of the thing i want to do. Though there are tons more that i still havent gotten to. I know there is such a freaking huge room for improvement. But I have to work on that i guess. Thats all for now. Till later.

2006-10-17T21:03:00.000+08:00

You know with these ppl graduating once they sit for their last paper and moving on, everyone is having plans or starting to make plans as to what is their next step in this real life chess game. Plan ur move correctly and checkmate, one wrong move and u loose the game. And it seems like they already have their game on. Most of them anyway. Some have alr made decisions to continue to seek the road of knowledge and predictabily remain in the education line so i guess they alr have their roads planned. Then there are some who alr went for interviews gaining a head start so to say. And listening in i can't help but feel somehow lost in the whole hullaballoo. So many things to think about really and even if i am not graduating till middle of next year *crosses fingers* i can't help but get swept into the whole whirlwind of things. Which mostly means the fear of not getting the perfect job, but most importantly if getting a job at all. But worst of all, for some time there, even before all this ppl started to talk about jobs, I was wondering if engineering related jobs were going to be my thing. And for some period i started considering an alternative field. I couldn't think of a position which i might find interesting and i didnt want a desk job or a job doing the same thing everyday. But most importantly though was that i am afraid that i am not good enough for jobs that are non of the above. I keep replaying in my head of an interview scene where they ask, so what are u good at and i turn up blank. Even if i was a monash grad, would my grades be good enough? Am i capable of proving something? Some time ago i might give at least a somewhat assuring yes! But really lately, i dunno. I have been loosing confidence in myself. But even so, I don't want to be mediocre, I want to do better than that, I don't want it to be just a dream. Sometimes i lose myself but now its time to regain this person. And somehow i feel like i need to bank in on my thesis project and make a big bang. The only problem is i need to find the potential in it. I know its no big research and i am not coming out with a new algorithm or solution. But after the exams i need to sit down and look for an alternative to make my thesis title work. They say give me lemons and i will make lemonades. I am yet to see the light beyond the tunnel to tell u the truth, but at least i have hope. I hope i don't let myself down. Now first thing first, presentation and exams!!

2006-10-09T21:01:00.000+08:00

Ancora Imparo they say. There is too many things i can think of which i want to learn given there is money and the time to enrol into courses on any given subject of interest. Does it matter how useful they are? I think i will take up learning as a hobby. Which means it doesn't necessary have to be useful, just have to make me happy! Who says hobbies don't cost money. Look at all those crazy enthusiast. Of course then again there are also learning which we can do for free! Ancora Imparo yo! Always learning! This lifetime is too short

2006-10-05T21:41:00.000+08:00

Felt like blogging, contempelated and finally gave in. Well here I am! Forgot most of what i wanted to say though. But anyways, was listening to light and easy and they were doing this yesterday once more once more. And yes i didnt type the once more twice by accident. A rather amusing name if i may say so myself. So anyways they were playing hits from 1998. i just realize 2 more yrs down the road and that makes a decade. And the part that got me most was i actually know like almost all the songs that they were playing as oppose to now the latest hits that i barely know any. It could be a) the music is getting lousy b) no time, no time and no time or c) I am no longer a teeny booper. Oh well, listening to our 'oldies' makes me rather nostalgic and think of all the sek men times. Those were the days.....

2006-09-28T21:23:00.000+08:00

Counting down till dooms day aka due dates and exams. To most this is the final defining moments everything has to fall into place and then after that its 'freedom'. Does it feel as final as that? What is life after a degree? For most its plunge straight into work or take a nice break and then plunge into work. Others probably hasnt have enough of studying and plan to continue with the whole acedemic thing for another 2 - 4 more yrs. Another chapter of life completed? How does one knows what to do with themselve when they come to the end of the paved path. But then again, naturally its to find a job usually related to area of study. That is what everyone does and probably makes much sense seeing as to paying so much for the degree and slogging away for 4 yrs. But i think i am more happy to think that we should go where life takes us. I know somtimes opportunities are made, and i also wish i belong to that school of thought but mostly i am clueless. I am not really that big on planning and strategies although i wish i was. I admire those that are able to plan and execute their dreams effortlessly or rather full of effort but then advancing surely in each step. But i distract easily, i loose the plot easily and mostly things seemed too abstract for me to see a solid outcome or route. If i had a chance to learn the ways of the stratergist and the planners I think i will go through grueling bootcamp to and hopefully i dont loose the plot.

But events in my life to me just somehow happens to fall into place, maybe due to the overtly optimist in me or maybe i am just in denial i see things as falling into place. I am able to see a good in a bad situation in someways although it does brings some disadvantages. I don't know how long i can go on waiting for things to fall into place though because it just seems so take what you get. Where do i want to be when I am 30? I really don't know what realistic answer to give to that. What am I capable to achieve? Maybe that is why I let things fall into place. I don't know what i am capable in achieving. So where do all of you want to be when you are 30? What do you think you are capable of achieving?

2006-09-23T21:32:00.000+08:00

When you get down to it, balls (the dance kind mind u) are really superficial things. You dress up to mingle around and have food which u don't get to choose and maybe watch a few nice performances if any and take loads of pictures. If you are lucky, the performace may be something actually entertaining and the food might just turn out to be something nice. That is the main agenda for the singles. Well as i have mentioned b4, i don't claimed that i wasn't superficial. And then there are the couples which get to dress up and be in a world of their own. So basically when you come down to it, its the company that makes the difference both ways.

Honestly i wasn't planning to go this yr around since i alr did the dress up, mingle, watch not too bad performance and eat so-so food last year. But then again this time around was the one and last time that the mechatron gang was to attend a ball minus a few ppl la ;). So with some urging from some fellas ma go lo. Like i say, the company is a deciding factor. This time around it was at the palace of the golden horses. Sounds wow but i think i rather prefer last yr's venue. All in all i think IOI marriot had a nicer setting, better food. And non related, but last yr's performance was better too. This yr's lucky draw prizes were way better. But oh well, no one in our group won anything. Some examples of the prizes ..... sony digi cam, mp4 player, mp3 player and some other prices that were so-so la. I would have loved to have gotten the cam though. Oh well :P.

So anyways as usual with the girls the whole 'event' starts of with the whole make up-dress up ordeal. Yeah guys will go "so ma fan" coz they just need to put on their nice suits spray some cologne if they want and grab the car keys and drive off. Ah forget about argueing whether there is a point to putting on makeup there is for every person saying yay there will be another saying nay. So to everyone their own. So yeah esther and shiaw pei went to this place in summit to get their make up and hair done and shih mun went to adonis in pyramid for makeup and snips? for hair. The package for the first 2 girls were rm 75 while shih mun had makeup done for rm 55 and hair for rm 55 as well. As for me, i was scrimping so i just did my hair for RM 35. I decided that if i were to look terrible at least i didnt have to pay for it ;) ha ha ha. Which according to shiaw pei was a wise choice since she hated her do. But i think she looked alright. Just that the lady was such a bussiness minded person she really kept to the minimum for a RM 75 package which she claimed was a special offer for students what was usually a rm 120 package. But honestly how much does it cost for some makeup and a glitter spray on the hair which she wanted to charge an extra RM 2 for. And as for me i did my makeup at home, thanks to michelle's improptu makeup lessons. I think it turned out alright. Judge for urself in the pics below, although my face got kinda oily with all the hurrying around! And the salon i went to was pretty good. I got what i want and they actually put some beads on my hair and glitter as well with no extra charge. Funny thing was the guy that started on my hair disappeared just after blowing dry my hair. Was wondering why he disappeared. Turns out he had stomachache. And once again the hairdresser commented on how thick was my hair although my mom complains i have very little. Go figure.

Anyways we were done at 450, reached uni at 515 and were on our way. Don't ask me why so early, not my choice. But i guess partly to avoid the jam as it is. I think they should just have it in Sunway, saves the trouble of traveling so far. That or have it in KL anyways else defeats the purpose. Spent forever waiting and waiting. As u know, no malaysian functions starts on time. So was time for pictures since got time. I dont have the group pics of the whole gang though. That has got to wait. Got to meet some of the guy's gfs. They are all quite sweet girls. And two of them were high school sweet hearts. While the other one just got together. Can see the diff ;). Some one suggested kajang satay after the ball but that was scrapped. Everyone was poofed. So it was home we went after a little more photo taking. All in all not too bad a night. Pics below.

On the way to uni after hair do.

On the way to palace of the golden horses. And since Seng Kiat was driving Esther who drove us from summit got to sit at the back and take a pic with me! Shiaw Pei was still sulking about her make up so she didnt want to take a pic. But later oblidged to Seng Kiat's request. The pic is with him though.

The standard obligatory stairway pic.

One on my own. I should learn how to stand properly though .......

khong suk and me. The Singapore guy since MUFY! muah ha ha.

the mechatronic girls minus one. The group pic will have to wait.

and one after pic when i got home.

Thats all folks. Lazy to upload liao :P

2006-09-15T19:17:00.000+08:00

How would you feel if some one fucked up ur computer which u have to pay YOUR own money to fix, then because a new computer came in which is 'supposedly' is for everyone's use. And coz of that ur miserable excuse for a comp got relegated because it is the worst condition of 3 comps. Then guess what! The computer which is now usually used by that person the fucked up ur comp is now kononnya 'yours' becuase this person is so charitable. And he claims complete ownership of this new and supposedly common use computer which is suppose to be for everyone and he will oh so charitabily let u use it when he is not around. So he fucks up ur comp and he gets the new comp while u get his junk. Wonderful! Now y didn't i think of it. Oh guess what! I am just a plain dumbass sorry excuse for a fool who looks second grade next to a charitable person that looks good fucking up stuffs.

2006-09-03T17:23:00.000+08:00

Honestly we are too cynical. We live in such a cynical world. And do pray that there wouldn't be one day where you find yourself needing to ask for strangers help. Perhaps there are still ppl a plenty that might reach out to help, but there are just as much cynics. An old lady arrived at my doorstep just now asking for some monetary help saying she can't work because she has bone aches and can't see in one eye. As much as I feel bad to be turning her away I honestly can't decide if it was a scham. So the question is, is it better to be a fool 9 out of 10 times but being able to help at least 1 person or being a fool 1 time not believing the genuine one. I hate how cold this world is turning. Or maybe its just me.

2006-09-03T15:33:00.000+08:00

This is a sorry excuse i keep as a blog. I am back to the period where i don't feel like saying anything again. Yeah life is still moving on, maybe somethings are still happening but no i don't feel like commenting on them. Feels like some druggie getting a fix chasing the dragon or something. Once the euphoria fades its back to the conoldrums. The funny thing is that once i get myself writting and the words flow i feel like a little of that high fix is coming back. But its the getting myself to start part which is hard. Maybe its because at this moment i feel that writting non-technical stuffs is the only thing i am apt to do. There is alot of things which i am in denial of or suspect that i am in denial of. But no i do not feel like sharing. That is the whole idea of being in denial. Someone drop me a line and save me from this weekly countdown of what is left of my yr 2oo6. And this yrly countdown of what is called a life( just got reminded of click the movie where in a blink of an eye you are at your death bed, while when fast forwarding you go about ur life in auto pilot. Yeah i think the fellow that wrote the whole . Maybe i want to live in a state where the date don't matter but only the things that are being done. I still haven't find out what that is yet. Maybe i want to work in an environment where what matters is not what u have achieved but who you have touched. But i am not going to be so pretentious as to say that the glamour and the whole being succesful thing with high flying life don't appeal to me. What don't appeal to me though is being a part of the whole wake up go to an uneventful job with repetative work go home eat and sleep.

I am rambling...... its a repetitive cycle. Nothing's changed yet everything is different.

2006-07-29T23:04:00.000+08:00

Someone's msn nick read : what is the thing you want to do most? . And his answer was fill up the fridge with different kind of just tea. Which I find amusing, and at the same time thought provoking coz for a period of time there i stopped asking myself what is the thing i want to do most and just zombied through the days. And its like b4 the first sem ended i had a dozen and one thing i wanted to do when it finally does and i have time to just kick back and do what my heart desire without having to complete this assignment or that project yada yada yada. Basically whatever i thought up have to be put on hold till further notice. I really wanted to kick back and enjoy a book or start up a sketch on something eventhough i haven't really drawn for a long time. Or take up dance class or something. I realize that i have been depriving my artistic side quite a bit. And i realize i lack the sponteniety to just sieze the moment and do what i want to do at that very moment, like say pack up and fly off to somewhere :P. Or is that only something that happens in the movie. Sometimes i feel suffocated by all this things that are binding me. What i yearn most is to be free and just do it. Maybe it might seem immatured to take of just like that, or even for wanting to do it. Or maybe it might even seem selfish. But no matter how much i want to reject the notion i still can't. Its probably the asian in me. But there is a romantic in me as well more trapped than the former. One could always dream can't we.

On i side note, i hate saying things that i feel i will be judged on, that is why most of the time i rather say nothing at all. The thing is that i judge people too and i don't believe on the fly that there is a single one person who has not judged another person base on things that was done or things that was said. And this is usually due to short sightedness i guess coz i tend to realize that when i was judgemental that i have not experienced the sort of thing that the person went through for them to be a certain way until later when i come across first hand what they have experiened. I might not have acted or said the things that i had judged them on but i come to realize why is it that they come to that kind of conclusion. But i guess one can argue that it shouldn' matter how other's see you. But honestly how many of us can really say we don't mind one bit. If there was such a person i would say they are either way delusonal of have eaten so much salt in life that they manage to be detached from this world having seen it all. But that aside i shall be cultivating myself to be both less judgemental and more detached. So i guess i will go eat more salt now.

There, my quota for the week. But really i wouldn't have written if i had nothing to say.

2006-07-22T17:05:00.000+08:00

Muah ha ha ha. Rae ask me to upate so here i am. And i updated.

Sigh, its not that there isnt anything to update. I dunno if there is anything to update but i dont have that urge to say much. I shall be a person of few words from now on. Class is started, there are many things i am disatisfied about. But at the moment i don't think ranting will give me much satisfaction. Maybe i am over that phase or maybe i am on a haitus from that phase who knows. There are also new things i have done like get a hair cut or bought a pair of gold shoes and an rm 10 shirt, but at the moment i guess those are just those. And i am in the middle of planning how i am gonna achieve 4 hrs of a work a day while juggling my like crazy assigments for this sem. I have a subject with 80% project internals this sem. One with 50% internals divided into labs and projects and so on. Nevertheless its still work. Third one a interactive modelling subject with project as well. And not to forget thesis which is the ultimatum. Will see how thing goes, just hope i havent died by the time everything is over.

Till the writing bug bites. Toodles for now

2006-06-26T12:18:00.000+08:00

Am i glad i caught portugal vs nederlands game or what. Rather amusing game and the most exciting one so far in terms of ruckus during games probably. so many yellow cards and 4 red cards leaving the game to a 9 on 9 one. Its just absolutely crazy. And a few fights threaten to breakout. most ridiculous one being luis figo head butting a nederlands player. I was so shocked when i saw it. And he was lucky to get away with only a yellow card. But nost endearing scene was when a portugal player and 2 nederlands player red carded sat together somewhere off field, but basically coz they are team mates in some club or other so alls well i guess. And poor christiano ronaldo was ousted so early in the game coz of an injury from a challenge that it was a pity not to see how well he would have played. Admittedly i havent watch a portugal match yet and i forgot christiano was playing. But hopefully the next match wis injury would have healed. But by then i wonder who to root for england or portugal.

On another note, i went and watched fast and furious tokyo drift with flashy cars and hot girls. But the story line is mind numbingly bimbotic and lacking, which i guess serves mainly to parade flashy cars and hot girls. The camera works weren't as great as initial D for the drifts either. But i guess the cars make up for it. Although the drifting in the car park was pretty neat. Acting was bad mostly. Only a number of ppl seemed to manage, namely the Han character and maybe D.K. The rest just seem very fake. Oh well i guess thats usually the case with this kinda shows anyways.

2006-06-26T01:01:00.000+08:00

can some one tell me why the tv doesnt show the host country playing live for world cup..... sigh.... prob coz it cost a bomb and free tv can't afford it. So sad, but then it would be ridiculous to get astro for world cup. i have enough things to do as it is without astro being a part of my live. And astro has to pau the england matches.... ish.... but i guess there is always something called the internet. And yes i am a kiasu football fan. But depends on what team la. but the streaming today sucked. and some apparent channel which suppose to show the live match ended up showing some stupid game show instead. waste my time only. But then all's good except for a few missed corners from beckham. But david beckham saves the day again with the sole goel comming from a damn nice free kick. No assist no nothing and i think no deflection from anyone also la. it just sailed through the defence wall and right through the goal keeper's hands into the bottom of the goal. he isn't just a pretty boy even if all the detractors says so. He does rise to the occasion. But all that's said about england, i dont see them lifting the cup. I am rooting for germany home advantage and all, and with their youthful team and nice play. Havent seen brazil play yet though although japan lost the them with a devastatiing 4 - 1. Either japan was that bad or they are starting to warm up. But sadly to say i feel its the former.

Oh well. Last time i am able to enjoy this world cup craze b4 i jump into work world. But do hope those asians do better the next time around. Another 4 yrs.

oh yeah the hols has started. But its only gonna be 3 weeks before the nightmare begins again.

2006-06-20T17:12:00.000+08:00

i know malaysian musicians has long been working the international scene. But amazingly the korean music scene has have much of a change now that they are actually venturing into singing songs such as song nine on this page. Doesnt sound as nice in korean though, but times has change and the korean gasoos are slowly but surely taking the world by storm i guess. Some collab turned out not too bad e.g. bi and lee hom. But kangta and vaness? hmmm scandal is definitely and suitable name. but mostly wierd.

2006-06-10T19:36:00.000+08:00

my modem is konked so i cant connect. I hope my laptop internal connection thing didnt get fried. *sob*. sigh.... anyways been one hell of a long couple of weeks. finished 2 papers along the way. And maybe having no connection was a blessing. Thank god to have such a great foresight seeing as to how i was wondering if indeed it was a joke that certain bizarre things tend to happen very near my exams which can be not the best thing. But then again no internet means i can't check my schedule whoch resulted in me panicking the last minute wondering if i hade been studying for the wrong paper. And also not able to access my pass year paper. Which at this point i guess turns out to not matter anyway. So yeah, i think it has been working out pretty fine so far. I hope its going to last, touch on wood. Pretty random this, but i happen to be looking at some site just now and i saw something submitted by a certain vincent though i didnt pay attention to the surname. And somehow i just sorta wonder if it was a certain person i knew till i stop myself short remembering he isnt here anymore. I know its pretty random and it is not as if i was that close to him. But the thing about life is that certain things just sorta nake u pensive just because you didnt expect to be thinking about it and it just happen to unexpectedly pop into your mind.

Ah well enough of rambling. back to studies, though regretfully the world cup has started and i am only able to catch the match properly after 23rd when all the group matched have finished. So i am hoping that either or both of Japan and Korea gets in and also of course Germany no doubt about it, else it be such an anti-climax and it couldn't be that brazil can't get a place could it? They just have to! and definitely England. If i go on like that i probably name all the teams silly me. But i really dunno who i hope would win, not that i think Japan or Korea will make it to the top, just because.

2006-05-21T12:24:00.000+08:00

Bliss is when you are able to satisfy your rm 10 craving with an rm 1 solution. I was craving for a nice ice-blended for quite some time, but it feels rather extravagant to me for the moment so i stop my self short of walking up to the counter and placing an order. But guess what can pacify a nice ice-blended drink craving but a little regretfully minus the caffien fix but non-the-less gratifying. A Mc Donald's soft ice cream. Absolutely heavenly at a fraction of a price.

And you know wat i feel. Addictions attacks a person when they are at their most vulnrable. Sorry but i associate addiction with weakness. Think about it. If you can't stop yourself from repeatedly taking something that you know could be harmful isn't that weakness. Like people who claim to fag because they are stress. When i am stress i tend to seek solace in coffee now or rather i think of seeking solace in coffee. And i know i am at my weakest when i am stressed because every single part of my brain threaten to go on strike. But i shall preservere ;).

2006-05-16T19:26:00.000+08:00

I have been finding writing to be a chore lately and that probably added to the reason i gave for updating in the previous post. I look at all the assignments and report that i have to churn out and a feeling of apprehension seem to just engulf me. Not to mention how it is with the class that forever is able to productively mass produce words for a living and hand up assignments which can at times be as thick as your common text books. I have to say that for some time now that my self esteem have been somehow slowly been eaten away that at one point or another i become a bag of jangled nerves just thinking of the type of quality work which they will produce that i am not able to live up to. And here i am sitting and knowing full well that this is an unhealthy state of mental health that i have somehow acquired. But simply i am putting too much unnecessary pressure on myself. But truth be told, I don't think that in the first place this pressure which i am piling on to myself is anywhere close to helpful in making me the next class genius because the only thing that it has been able to do is make me want to run away more. But the only thing that has been holding me in place is the stubborness that insist that you have gotta face it whether you like it or not. I guess that has to be attributed to my taurus star which claims stubborness as my quality which maybe i might thank my lucky stars for one day.

2006-05-14T13:44:00.001+08:00

Sigh..... i think you can say that the lack of post here is reflective of my current condition of a lack of opinion. I somehow happen to find it oddly hard to express myself in a sense that i am firstly at a lost for proper words to string a proper sentence or a lack of ability to make the sentence make sense. And so therefore affecting me to have a lack of opinion or rather a lack of energy to verbalize my opinion. I think i need someone to practice speaking on. Any takers? Well i do find i need to address this problem seriously. But not now i guess... i am too busy worrying about the gargantuan amount of work i need to cover whithin the time frame of less than a month.
Now that could be part of the problem too i guess since that is about like a huge portion taking my attention at a given moment. So today i was sitting as i was having breakfast with daphi and michelle and they were like talking about stuffs like the 9/11 conspiracy theory and fashion shows and all. I sort of just sat there and listened finding words or opinions i would have liked to give but finding none. Then i was thinking hey is it that i have no knowledge of this subject and the answer that came back was really "i am not sure". I mean it is not as if i don't really know but then is not that i am super knowlegable either. But somehow i guess this convo which was started one day when i sat down to lunch with my resident class smarty pants just happen to be nagging me. This guy used to be the kinda guy which does not fit one bit into being nerdy or be associated with scholarly persuits. The kind which i would presume has "fun" as a middle name. But now when he meets up with his old bunch of friends he happen to find that they no longer have a commmon ground of conversation. All he wants to talk about is robots and stuffs related to what he does now. And all they talk about is kids (which some of them unsruprisingly has acquire) and computer games. And I couldn't accept that. For such a long time I have always believed in having a wide scope of knowledge for a wide scope of conversational topic and now i am afraid i might be turning into a one dimensional person. Oh god that is a scary thought. There is more to life isn't it? Besides work and more work. But somehow that has seem to taken over my part of the life even if i have no interest in putting it into a conversational topic. But the only problem being I have no time to update myself with whatever else which has been happining around that, well i don't have a choice but to keep quiet. And no i seriuosly don't find the prospect of sitting around with a bunch of engineers all the time and only disecting the parts of our research that is on going eventhough it must be done once in a while to enhance our scholarly persuit one bit appetizing. But that is a sad thought.

So there you have it. The thoughts that have been churning around my head for the past couple of weeks while i haven't updated.

On another matter this article has me thinking. ( well i do have an opinion now don't i !). Its really interesting how people tend to press their opinions on others. Quite a big chunk of comments on the page actually ridicules her for keeping her chastity. Acting as if they know it all and she is just some naive little girl that stares wide eyed at the mention of sex. It is a choice to be made and at the tone of her post she is concious of her raging hormones too. So she should be given credit for making a stand for her believe. The way I see it the life is your's live it the way you see fit as long as u know what you are getting yourself into. Some might want to indulge in their needs and some might have a different set of needs that needs indulging in. Just as long as you are happy. In other words why the fck you bother who is fcking and who is not.

2006-04-27T20:29:00.000+08:00

You know sometimes life is funny in a way that you only get what you want when u decided not to pursue it. Wanted to have an outing on Saturday for dinner since was thinking i probably want to spend at least the last half of sunday with parents sempena my birthday. that and i was planning on trying to go vegetarian on Sunday. But since most ppl can't make it on Sat i finally resolved to sit at home and enjoy a nice rest while watching finals for some superstar competition and move dinner to sunday. So i was actually happily settling down not planning to go out on Saturday night alr. And then suddenly michelle calls and asked me if i wanted to go clubbing coz her 2 friends i met last week when we had lunch asked if i would like to go. And then suddenly i dunno how i feel about this. Its not that i don't want to go, coz i do. But sometimes there are moments that catches me when i look at this and ask whats the point really and then they are days i am revving to go.
So i am afraid that that moment decides to show itself on that day. But then again i enjoyed the last trip to poppy so i am hoping i do this time. But really i guess its partly the company too.

Rae, i know what you gonna say. Why think so much right. But no matter how much has change somethings don't really go away. They just go into hiding till the next time. But then again have i ever turned down an opportunity to explore? I am sure i have but not all the time. Aiya i miss my form one days la. Just do first think later. But that one also is a concious effort to do that. If you can actually believe me, one fateful day in form one i did tell myself. "heck it, think so much for what? just do first la" And those were to stupidest but most carefree days of my life. Born a thinker always a thinker la.

But anyways siao la, wanna go clubbing also can spout so many nonsense. Don't let that fool you i am as ready as ever to go ha ha ha. Maklumla not always get to go. Now what to wear..... :P

Actually i realized this lementation not about going clubbing la. Its about life only giving you what you want when u are not pursueing it anymore. Ah what ever la. I need to get out more often. But then again i need more hours in a day. Damn it, i have tons of things to do. Sigh are engineers doomed to be nerds? Even the clever one that was no where near being a nerd has turned into one. Ask you la, how can measily me not be more nerdier. Sigh wondering if i should have taken this from the begining. There are days when i like what i am doing and there are days when i am thinking of doing something else than engineering once i graduate. I am really loosing my spirit. Where art thou spirit?

Ah radomness.

2006-04-26T14:02:00.000+08:00

when some place that from the very begining screams pretentiousnous starts promoting its place like this :

Many urbanists have already claimed Café Café as their home away from home. An indulgent in luxury, rewarding with comforts of haute decadence, an escape from the harsh industrial and minimalist chic of too many modern restaurants. Here, the ones is to know enjoy privileges of classic dining, without pretentiousness. Classic yet modern, formally relaxed, flamboyantly simple. Café Café is truly a pastiche of styles that some together to enchant. A refreshingly informal place to meet freiends, colleagues, or even a special acquaintance.

You can know very well that they are living in a world of their own.

Read more about what they have to say about their place here. Every single word that is in the description sure screams unpretentious huh.

I stumbled across this place on someone's blog and recently got reminded of it when in conversation with michelle's friend who is also an aquaintence of the blogger. It is not that i am disdained with the place or its poshness really. Coz i actually want to check the place out since it was pretty distinctive decor and i heard they have great tiramisu. But really ! if you are a posh place which goes all out with the decor (I don't think it can even be called a simplistic approach) then don't try to pretend not to be pretentious.

2006-04-23T02:15:00.000+08:00

Damn it ! i was suppose to be out clubbing tonight but things are getting more and more tangled with my work. Stress also cannot do, don't stress also cannot do. I took 3+ days to complete a bloody comprehend and summarize exercise. WTF. I am to the extreme of half wishing i were to find out there is something medically wrong with me i.e. something psychologycal or something. Hey wait, stress to the extreme of paranoia is also considered a serious problem right. But who wants to be sick anyways.

Another thing bothering me is WTF is some people so bloody annoying that they don't realize you are not thrilled to chat with them but they still msg u every single fucking time they see you online acting all cutesy. Its really hard to think they just want to be friends even after rejecting them for the umpteenth time and within that period, him having gotten into a relationship and broken up i am not sure how many times. Damn it! is it so hard to be satisfied with just being friends. I am not even sure why i bothered in the first place. I should just ignore him. Sometimes people are stupid that way. They know the answer but they dont seem to do it. I guess i am not exclusive of that either.

2006-04-18T13:04:00.000+08:00

What have i done. I have just spent my carefully allocated budget and even exceeded that on my very long craved marinara white saucce and the unexpected shared ceasar bacon salad and a glass of lemon tea. I was rm10 over budget. What is rm 10 you say. Well given the tight budgetting with very little space for error. Oh well. But i got my marinara anyways. One of the many yet to satisfied cravings. But i do find this absurded in a way that i will nv be able to satisfy all the cravings ever ever. coz by the time i am half way through i will be craving for the first thing that i crave for not to mention new stuffs on the list. This is mad i tell you. And not to mention if i were able to do so that i will probably be as big as an elephant. So anyways no pics from that lunch. But it was a plate of goodness. only lacking in the nice clams they used to put. But in place of that i had 3 pig prawns oo la la. And 2 mussels. calamari rings and some fish. Damn it thinking about makes me wanna eat it again besides the fact that it gets muaking. And now i haven't been eating sushi or japanese food in a while. I feel like having udon or ramen or dons. But that has got to wait for some other day. Anyways, still have more of those darn work that has been keeping me busy to do. So thats all for now

2006-04-13T01:34:00.000+08:00

So I haven't posted in a while. And the next time i chose to post is now when i am "rushing" for 2 assigments. Why i say "rushing" is really because heck i don't feel quite as hurried as i suppose to. And in no way is that good. But than again it feels good to feel my fingers moving on the key board becuase most of the time it will just be hovering there stuck at what to type. Anyhows, i am in a warp reality, i think that i can finish writting another research paper tomorrow before i hand it up on friday. I hope my reality isnt too warped. Eventhough i am already quickly doubting that. And thats a flash report from a not so there me. Thank you for tuning in.

2006-03-16T21:11:00.000+08:00

Have i mentioned that i was exercising? I am trying to get into shape for a studio photoshoot and the time in fact has been tantatively pushed forward. We had plans to do it in june/july. But because michelle might need extra pics she decided to do hers earlier. And i thought, since we wanted to take together since it will be more fun and we can have a picture of us together that I prob like to do it same time as her as well. And to think about it, longer time might mean longer time for me to get into shape. But the only problem being, i eat when i get stressed. And the earlier proposed time is after finals exams. Which means super stress time. So given that i am in suitable condition to go ahead with the photoshoot, i will do it mid to end April and probably get the pictures in time to be a birthday present for myself ;).

So besides exercising, i have been mindful about my eating as well. I don't think i am in denial if i were to say that i am not on a diet, because i don't skip meals. I just try very very very hard not to snack when i am not hungry. Coz either way that isn't healthy in the first place right? (anyone thinks otherwise ?:P)But the only problem being, i tend to snack when i feel stressed or even when i feel bored. And if that isn't bad, things just seems more desireable when u can't have it. One thing good though is that, with the effort of saving money, i don't have much left for indulgence. Which leads me to snack less and eat healthier. Now how about that for killing 2 birds with one stone. Now though, i am waiting to see when i have enough money to indulge in some fantabulous marinara from italianos. That has to wait for next month onwards though. Sigh.......

And sad to say, the wheather has been a bitch lately. Keeps raining on my parade. Or rather keeps raining on the time when i usually jog. It used to rain AFTER i jog. Will see how it goes next week. But at least i still have monday and tuesday mornings i hope ;) and perhaps saturday too.

2006-03-10T17:23:00.000+08:00

damn it! I can't believe it is already friday once again. Its mad i tell you. I can still remember me sitting down to watch american idol last friday as if it just happened the day before yesterday. The time eating monster has started to come out again. Why is it that once classes start, time seems to fly faster than it already flies. Well i know i haveb't updated more than a week now.

There is much of an update i guess. So what's up? Well before class started, i was looking at my timetable and thinking there was time for me to squeeze some exercise in. And since i am not getting any younger, i really should try and get some exercise in before my metobolic rate starts to decline so bad that I will just balloon. Not that i haven't alr, compared to when i was younger. But at the moment i am still alright with my body size. But then again why not make it better if you can ;). And I really am curious as to how much weight i can loose. And how near i can get into fitting into my old clothes. But unbelievable as it is, when i looked back at the pics when i was younger i couldn't believe i was THAT thin. So maybe fitting into old clothes ain't that good an idea. Scratch that, i wanna have a nice toned bod, but i have to work something else out besides jogging then.But then most importantly still is i want to push myself physically. I wanna train my stamina. I want to be able to run effortlessly a few rounds around the field. I have never been great with stamina. And then play basketball effortlessly as well. AH it feels like such a long time ago since i actually did exercise at least 3 times a week. I feel younger again :P. So far i this week i manage to jog on monday and tuesday. And wednesday was basketball. But yesterday a freak storm happened so i didn't go. And it rained again today. Oh well hope its just this 2 days.

Interestingly enough though, after i planned to start exercising I ended up one day putting a deposit for studio shots without any prior plans for that. We, me and daphi just so happen to have been with michelle, temaning her to ask for studio shots in a bridal fair in pyramid. With the original package at rm 550, the manager happily told us she will give us the package at rm388 if three of us took it. Thinking back though, i think i was probably crazy at the time. 388 aint a small amount either. But the good thing is that the package is valid for any amount of time. But then they are planning to take it mid year though. So i am super super saving my money hopefully it is suffecient. Coz we planning to take together so that we can have one with the three of us in it. So no nice food for me for a while i guess. Coz that is where my money tend to go anyway. Works both ways i guess. Anyways the package includes 2 dresses we can choose from their collection, 4 images(hair + makeup) and 20 pics. That is also thanks to daphi's negotiation skillz. But i reckon do it when you are young. Although sometimes i do have differing thoughts about this since it is spending money on none necessity. Well i am a complicated person. Just that luckily i am not schizophrenic. I probably am more of a hypocrit.

On other news, i am totally having the hots for this fellow which is a taiwanese model turned actor. I am currently watching devil besides you which has rainie yang and mike he as main characters. Although i have to say, like i told Rae, "I think i am too old for this". But hack, i am an extremely ecentric character now and then. Or some one probably might wanna add "most of the time". So.......

2006-02-24T20:38:00.000+08:00

I was reading this post when i came across the part about the "open secret" about how no one can insult u if you don't let them. Then something i read sometime ago just came back to me. I am quoting this from a book titled "The incredible phenomenon of karma". And i feel its pretty right. Not meant to be preachy though. But religious material or not, it still does apply no? So here goes

One day, a non-Bhuddist insulted Buddha. Buddha kept in silence without talking back. Later a disciple asked Buddha, "Someone just criticized you a few minutes ago. Why didn't you talk back to him ?"
Buddha asked the disciple, "If someone gives you a gift but you don't want to accept it, what will you do with the gift?"
The disciple answered, "The sender should bring the gift back"
Buddha said, "That's right. If someone blames you but you keep silent without talking back, then those bad words will be brought back by this person. Therefore, silence sometimes is the best solution"

Perhaps some might feel as if silence means admiting defeat. I was contempelating that too, But then the winner is not the one that wins the physical battle, but the one that overcomes the psychological battle.

2006-02-22T00:54:00.000+08:00

Lets see, what have i been doing this few days. Other than last Sat's k and scary movie session, Sunday was for breakfast get together. And since its been quite a while since we went dim sum, i suggested that eventhough i didn't have a particularly strong craving for it. Then somehow we decided to pay summit's dog show a visit. So many cute and big dogs around. my heart was just melthing. But sigh..... i can't own one anytime soon. No pics there since i was busy admiring the dogs. And those that i took were too far away to see much.

Later went grocery shopping with my mom and i discovered this

its a limited edition kit kat. And its lemon cheese flavour. Some how i saw it, picked it up and turned to my mum and just smiled and say, " buy ya ;p" ha ha ha. I think the lemon cheese flavour somehow got to me. Not that i used to be such a huge fan of cheese not too long ago. But i think it was absolutely delicious. It does have that lemon cheese flavour. Without refrigeration the outer coating has a nice smooth and soft ish creamy feel to it while the inner layer is of course the wafer. But too bad i only had one stick and its gone. The rest of the bounty was shared with my mom and two brothers. It goes for about rm 2 ++ for a pack of 2 with 2 "fingers" in each pack. Something different from the normal chocolate kit kat.

Besides those i bought ingredients for my cooking adventure as well. Unfortunately yeast wasn't in that list. I thought i had some at home. Turns out it expires 2000 instead of 2006 as i heard it. So i got all ready for some baking and couldn't do bread. So i decided i shall do cakes instead. No recipe though. Took 2 eggs, seperate white and yolk. Whip whites till stiff. took 3 table spoons of butter about 4 table spoons of sugar mix everything with the egg yolks. Half a rice bowl of flour dumped in and mixed. Then fold the mixture into the egg white and bake. This is the result.

Doesn't look like much, but its surprisingly edible. Just not fluffy enough. I plan to reduce the amount of flour used the next time. In fact it reminds me of the cake my mom used to make. Just that mine isn't as dry thus not crunchy enough ;) ha ha ha.

Monday morning went for basketball with Oon-Ee and totally felt old and unhealthy. Well at least i am getting some exercise. Played 2 on 2 against 2 kids which are in form 1 and form 2. And hmmm got owned :P. But i was seriously exhuasted. I am almost twice their age man.

And later in the afternoon mom brought me over to summit for facial and later i managed to squeeze in a haircut. I have been wanting a fringe for a while. Was thinking of something like this

The hair dresser that was suppose to do my hair didn't know who rainie was, so she asked this other guy who knew to take over. But then he was telling me her hairstyle is very severe in a sense where almost half a head of hair becomes the fringe. He ask me if i really wanted that. Sigh but i chickened out. Maybe i should have sticked to the plan. So what i got was this instead.

I guess it could have been a little thicker on the front. Ah well, maybe next time. Besides will see how some make up will look with this. Anyways it was suppose to be just a cut but ended up being a cut, wash and blow. And the straightened my hair for me with the iron so everything was nice and smooth.

so i spent rm 35 unexpectedly. sigh. I wanted to curl my hair though. But that would have to wait.

2006-02-18T20:59:00.000+08:00

A lady walks in through the main entrance. Stops in front of a shop that is under construction and shielded from the public eyes by ply woods which are the norm for shops that are under construction in a shopping mall. The signs on the ply wood says Heinstand swiss gourmet bakery. She pulls open one of the make shift doors in the ply wood fort to look inside. Looks around and shuts it again. Looks around outside and then finally found who she was looking for. A mat salleh guy walks towards her. And they exchange a hearty hand shake. And both of them walks through the ply wood makeshift fort.

Thats what i saw when i was sitting in summit waiting for my friend's arrival. I can't wait for that shop to open. I wonder what kind of delicious wonders is going to come out from their kitchen. But i wonder if i will be able to afford it. Well, stay tuned and i shall have a few photo entries on the stuffs that is going to be sold in this shop.

Anyways, went for k in summit song bird today. i should seriously come here for my future karoake outings. Its 9.90 for buffet lunch and 3 hours of singing bliss. Then later got draged to watch a "ghost" movie called 49 days. But it turns out instead of being scared out of my wits, i was actually crying more than screaming. A rather sad show indeed. Either that or i am pmsing. Ha ha ha. but i am sure there are quite a number of ppl crying in the cinema other than me. Sigh sigh. But anyways, i highly recommand this show so give it a watch. Then u can tell me if u find it as sad as i do. Oh besides that its kinda funny too in someparts. There are parts which are predictable. But there are parts which leaves u guessing too. So i think its not a bad movie to watch.

2006-02-17T16:41:00.000+08:00

This is it. The last hour of my work. Nothing spectacular but well much awaited. One thing that i noticed though is that me and my supervisor are hopeless at communicating on a level more than just work. We basically don't talk much beyond that. Which i find kinda amusing and a little bewildering, given that i am able to at least talk about other stuffs with other ppl's supervisor. Why ah? Is it that we both just don't have the best skills at communicating or that because he is my supervisor, that's why a degree of seperation has to be maintained. Which i really don't agree la. And even if i can't admit to being the most charasmetic person around i tend to try to at least find a common topic.

Anyways, since this was the last day, i was planning to go up to him to thank him and what nots 30 - 15 mins before work ends. But unexpectedly, he came up to me so much earlier and gave me his calling card and said good luck for my future endevours. I didn't even get to thank him properly coz i am not good at this before getting prepared. But all in all, he is a great guy and a great supervisor seeing as to the rest of the ppl never got a great explaination as to what they are doing. Ah well, another hurdle completed. level up!

2006-02-16T11:39:00.000+08:00

I am guessing no one or at least very little people would know how to read this. But anyways this is the song that i have been kinda hooked to. Don't ask me why though coz i don't think the melody is that great anyway. But it sort of stuck itself in my head. But i feel the melody sounds kinda old scholl hong kie. Gives a nostalgic feeling. The singer is a new artist. Sort of anyways, since she won some new comer award or something for the 28th RTHK award thingy. If you are interested you can stream the song from here. Just follow the two words on the very top and click on the first link to the title's right.

歌曲：大哥
歌手：janice

如果兄妹相称太多醒不起喜欢我
快研究和我这异性拍拖

讹称知己的真太多
当女共男未变爱侣
不吻过自然没结果

没有好感怎会相亲相爱大哥只是掩饰
能做对爱侣堕落成朋友谁心息

我要爱情不需要登对不需得你允许
兄妹真有趣不需要分居忘记辈份再追
我要爱情摧毁世交也不失一个壮举
相恋的证据假使要争取唯有约定和大哥喝醉

mu…..ye….wo…o

曾经双手执一柄枪
想逼供你一趟
我和你无爱谁没有试想

如果恋爱必须创伤
想你亦明白到我俩
需开心都也受救伤

没有好感怎会相亲相爱大哥只是掩饰
能做对爱侣堕落成朋友谁心息

我要爱情不需要登对不需得你允许
兄妹真有趣不需要分居忘记辈份再追
我要爱情摧毁世交也不失一个壮举
相恋的证据假使要争取唯有约定和大哥喝醉

a…wu…ye..碍

我要爱情不需要登对不需得你允许
兄妹真有趣不需要分居忘记辈份再追
我要爱情摧毁世交也不失一个壮举
相恋的证据假使要争取唯有约定和大哥喝醉

2006-02-16T10:55:00.000+08:00

It was raining swimming pools yesterday. The rain was the heaviest in a long time man. And what do i do, but to call on my dad for help though he was home and had to drive all the way here to pick me up and then send me back home before heading out again. But i should have known better than to expect there to be no jam. But it really makes me wonder how would it be if i were to be on my own and have no one to rely on in situations like this. I guess i will survive. Its just that i tend to get lazy and dependent when help is around. Unfortunately the traffic was so bad that i ended up being droped at pyramid to take a bus home while my dad rushes off somewhere else. He should have used the LDP in that case. Sigh.... Anyways, as i was on the bus i wasn't able to get a sit as is expected. So i stood at aisle. And as usual i tend to try to take care that i do not get pick pocketed by paying close attention to my bag especially in the presence of shady characters. But i hate to do it too obviously so i was slowly trying to pull my bag towards the front since its a sling bag. But sometimes life just throws you some pleasant surprises. But perhaps i am just over paranoid. But its not like i was particularly suspicious, its just that i am being more careful, but one of the guy sitting next to the aisle closest to me actually stood up and offered me a seat. Which was a really pleasant surprise and pretty refreshing too since you don't see too many of this gestures in the present society. But then again, this is still not reason enough to put down my guard in future bus rides, sadly. Because it only takes one ill intentioned person to loose your belongings, and you don't know when you actually meet them. A very demoralizing fact.

Other than that, I have been awoken in the middle of the night this few days by wierd dreams. Its not the scary kind, but i just jerk awake when i reach a certain interesting part of the dream. Not a good thing, since that means i haven't been getting good sleep, although it means that i have been getting good entertainment. Pretty interesting dreams that sometimes reflects what information which has been passed to me during the days sometimes. But this morning i was awaken again by a dream. Kinda amusing one for me. But this time it has nothing at all to do with reality. Only thing being it gets irritating when you are jerked awake at the most interesting moment and you don't find out what happened next. Now the only thing i can remember is that it has wang lee hom in it. I think ...... :P and he is having the career of his life time or something doing concerts and all. And i was ahem... his girl friend i think. But somehow his career was backed by some gangstas fella. I am not very clear about this already. But then they decided they wanted to snub him. For reasons that i do not remember already. So his popularity plunged and he was demoralized. Now the interesting part is the next scene where the background seems to come from the young and dangerous movie where e-kin cheng was about to recognize the guy in the show to be his tai lo. It is really the same guy in the movie! And then Wang Lee Hom decided that since his singing career was no more, he would join the gang as well. And he would wanna be under that same tai lo. And then i was doing the hug from the back thing which us cliche for those love story scene to try to stop him from going. And i was actually able to not let him move eventhough he was struggling to move forward. And then after a while, i just shuddered awake. And to think back, i was actually thinking about that young and dangerous show yesterday i think. Hmmmm its getting strange that my day thoughts are manifesting into my dreams. That has never happen to me. And not as if i was really contempelating that thought too hard either.

Ah i guess by now you would have figured i am very extremely free, telling grandmother stories about my dreams. Anyways time to go off to the HR department to settle some stuffs. toodles

2006-02-15T10:07:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was *drum rolls* surprise! surpirse! val's day. And guess what i gotta do :P. Celebrate it with a big bunch of guys. Only thing being, they are my course mate and we were sending off two fellas to aus. But ah well, no biggie. I hate cliches anyways. So val's day is just another cliche. If i had a special someone to celebrate it with then fine with me. Else what's the lost. I know there are ppl who bemoans this day just because they don't have anyone to celebrate it. And then they get all depressed. And then there are those that make it a love everyone besides your bf/gf day as well. I was buying into that for a while until i started thinking, " hey isn't st valentine's day about this priest guy marrying couples". Ah well, to everyone their interpretations. But besides the whole farewell thing, i actually unexpectedly got to meet up with a bunch of old high school friends. It has been some time since i met any of them. And if not for Oon-Ee i probably wouldn't have since he was the one that "told" me i was going to go with him to ee-wah's farewell party right before we were suppose to go. ha ha ha. It was really great and interesting to have been able to meet up with them :). And had some nice laughs too ha ha ha. We should really organize a bigger get together ;). But then again i guess it wouldn't be the same coz smaller group makes for closer and cozier gathering while bigger groups just seem a little less personal. Anyways, since i was messing with nail polish again, i decided to try out the patterns in the nail art book michelle gave me. So i chose a heart theme just coz val's day was near how ever hypocritical this sounds.

2006-02-07T22:47:00.000+08:00

You know i find it funny how some ppl write in such a way that you just feel the warmth in each words. It just makes me feel as if i really want to get to know the person in real life. I feel that what they put into words are not mere words at all but a soft and gentle lulling of sentences. I know sentences are just words put together, and i am not sure how is it that the way these singles words put together in different ways can give out such different sort of aura.Maybe its also the things that they write about i guess. I wonder if other ppl agree with me on this though. Take for example this 2 different bloggers :- B1 & B2

Now tell me what kind of aura does this two person evoke through their writing.

They seem to be ppl that actually managed to observe the world as it passes as compared the rest of us who are mostly self absorbed. We never manage to notice the things that actually goes on around us, or rather all we talk about is ourselves. I am no different either. Most of what i write about is what happens to me. Theirs are quite a refreshing blogs to read. But most importantly, i guess is a reminder to you and me that in our daily lifes perhaps we should slow down and smell the roses a little bit and observe what is going on around us rather than be submerged in a world of our own.

2006-02-04T11:01:00.000+08:00

Had a really nice break for cny. But sigh..... this wonderful time is coming to an end * sob * . My one week holiday is almost over. Its saturday and another one more day and my ass will have to be back at the office again. But i really enjoyed how lazily the week has passed. I wasn't entirely at home most of the time. But i wasn't entirely busy rushing here or there anyway. But mostly since the bunch of them are either back in their hometown or off somewhere having a nice relaxing holiday, most of my time was spent with my mum, which suits me fine.

So anyways, reunion dinner was the usual fare, steamboat and all. I didn't take any pics coz its nothing much to see i guess. But this year around safe to say i didn't stuff myself silly. Either that or my stomach grew bigger. But it is a refreshing feeling to not feel so full that you can't move. I know that is really up to me, but cny wo, got food don't eat meh. Some more so delicious food. So i am like a search and destroy unit. In this case, see food == eat. ha ha ha .

Anyways, first day of cny we started something new. As i say usually dad will be going to the famed tin hau kong. Well he didn't, and so i didn't have to chance to refuse. But i ended up attending a mass buddhist prayer + releasing of life (i.e fish in to pond/ birds into sky thingy) ceremony. Which i do use to attend on normal basis till i got lazy :P. I actually had a wonderful picture in mind, if i had manage to take it. It was a view of sun rising hidden between clouds with birds flying everywhere when released. But i didn't feel it was nice for me to whip out my phone while prayers were going on, to take pictures. So no pics as well. After that went to mines shopping mall to eat at the wong kok char chan teng there, coz mom insist they have the best yin yong. Not too bad, but the food was just alright, provided we were only eating bready stuff.
Then we went home and later made hon tai. Yup just like i said.
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2nd day of cny was hoi lin fan, which not mant ppl does anyway. Its probably just to signify the begining of the year of some sorts. This i have pictures, since dad was so excited about how nice the dishes looks, he asked me to take pictures of it. These are almost the usual fare we have for the hoi lin fan except my nice duck dish this yr.

some dish introduction is in order i guess

nian nian you yu - a recipe which mom got from the recipe book i bought her a few birthdays ago

this is the chicken dish. This year we did herbal chicken. I think usually its just steamed chicken.

hee har tai siu - another adapted recipe from the book i bought.

siu yuk - enough said.
my fave dish - hou si fat choi with mushrooms

vege dish with yummy mushrooms

lap cheong + shi ku

Thats all for the 2nd day of cny.

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Now on wednesday, it was the sister's "reunion" dinner. Just an excuse to eat ? :P Anyways, suppose to lou sang, but since chinese restaurants are going to be a bomb, we went to a restaurant which is owned by the company jenni works with. A thai restaurant. The food was not bad at all, and the pricing was alright.

this was wat we had + a tom yam soup which was not in the pic

from top left - basil chicken ( not too bad. could be more spicier, mango kerabu with fried catfish ( nice and yummy), some platter thingy with assorted munchies, pandan leave chicken ( absolutely tasty and tender) and baby kai lan.

And we had free dessert wine cos jenni's church mate + manager was having dinner there and they had some left so since she didn't want to bring it home she asked us if we liked some. It was really nice and sweet. I could really drink a whole bottle of this. :P

Anyways, since i was wearing something different from my normal style they insist in taking a pic of me body length. So this is the skirt that i bought for cny. The bag wasn't mine btw. Its daphi's. But if i were to bring my green bag, i think we would havd been better off exchanging bags coz she was wearing blue :P

and here is one for the group photos. Hmmm looks like we have been meeting up quite often. Oh well better do it while we can. Else everyone will be so busy=======================================================

Anyways, yesterday, my mom's bro i.e my uncle came down to visit. And since he has always wanted to catch a movie when he gets down here we went for a midnight show. Since this is prob the only time he is really that free, not to mention the ticket price being 2.4 times lower than singapore.He wanted to catch fearless, which was the only show worth catching at the time being. Went earlier to buy tickets since we were afraid the ticket booth might close. We still had 1 hr to kill before show started so we were contempelating what to do. Then he saw the pool place near the cinema. We had quite a nice time there. We started off with foosball, which i really sucked at. But we had 2 games anyway. Me and my uncle vs my bro ha ha ha . We won once. Then decided pool will occupy a longer time. It was quite fun since i haven't played pool in a long long time. And it took a long time indeed. But we made it on time anyway :P. And there was a really long ad time. *snores*. Talking about snoring, some one did snore in the cinema. Aiks. he slept through almost the whole show. Hmmmm wasted, it was a nice show. But the cha doh part is, there was an uncle which was prob my grand pa's age or perhaps younger, and he stayed awake through the whole show. Ah well perhaps the snoring person wasn't chinese. But the show was nice, not by storyline, but the fighting scene was mouth watering. But what little story line there was, i actually couldn't understand how ppl can be so blinded by power and being the best when it really doesn't mean anything in the end. But i guess life is about learning. In the end he finally realized his mistake. But too bad he had to die.

2006-01-26T12:10:00.000+08:00

another 2 more or should i say one and a half more days and the holidays will be upon us. 1 entire week off for me. yippee. But...... sigh i feel as if i always have things to complain about. Is it me, or is the magazines just feeding me with too much of those, " is your friend a complain whore" thingy. But i feel i do complain a lot, but what can i do. I will have to return to work for at least another 2 more weeks. But to think about it, it ain't that long. Its just that i don't hope to spend 2 weeks paying RM 8 transport fees per day going to work so i can do nothing. So i hope that is not true.

Anyways, sometimes it is funny how things only hit me once i sit down to think about it. It just hit me that things will no longer follow "tradition" from this yr on for cny. What is tradition for me? First day of cny wake up laze around abit, refuse to follow dad to the famed tin hou kong temple in KL ( yes that is the tradition most years. He ask, i say lazy.) Those will prob still remain the same, but then after that when mom is done with praying, with a little help from me. Me and her will go over to my grandparent's place to "visit" and meet up with both my mom's brothers and their family. This year that little visit is eliminated from the day's agenda. Which in fact makes quite a big part of that day, because we stay to chat and play cards. Since both my grandparents are no longer around, my uncles won't be coming down so early if not at all. I guess they will be starting their own tradition from now on. So what will be my family's new tradition then. I honestly can't think of much. It is just wierd Maybe me and mom should embark in some hon tai making. i don't think most of you would know what are those, but its a sort of noodle that is made into a flatened sphere and steamed and then sliced and cooked either in soup or fried.

Anyways i guess this year its not just me that is going to have to deal with not doing what we do every year for cny. Rae! wonder when you will get ur connection to read this. Anyway hope you have found a way to make ur cny a little more bearable this yr. *hugs* . Throws mandrin oranges at you.

well either way i still can't wait for cny to come. At least i know one thing is for sure. reunion dinner will still be there. And new tradition has it that we do it steamboat style. I don't mind at all since i think it should be less fattening. ha haha. Like i really care. But i will still have my normal fare for the hoi nin fan.

anyays xing nian kuai le. gong xi fa chai

2006-01-25T14:56:00.000+08:00

You know of the many ideas that i have, I have actually thought of opening a coffee shop that serves ice coffee buy freezing coffee into ice cube and then slowly melting it in milk so that you get a nice milky ice coffee minus the dilution and getting a range from more milky to more coffee in one sitting. But oh well looks like i am no genius after all because i read here that, that has already been thought of. Oh well i think i still have another idea up my sleeve. Hope that hasn't been thought of yet.

2006-01-24T00:31:00.000+08:00

call me crazy but it is 12:33 am right now and i just finished baking half a dozen of egg tarts.

didnt turn out too well though ;). i just pakai hentamed the recipe so ..... And actually i wouldn't have made it coz after being so hyped about making some i kinda got lazy when i got home. But someone said i better not be lazy coz he is expecting that for breakfast. Ah not someone special so don't let ur imaginations run wild yet. Just jin leong. So i retorted that he better eat it even if it sux. Well he better. What suddenly made me so hyped about baking? I spent almost the entire day reading about food blogs. I think i will spare u guys the trauma for the time being, coz i also lazy to find the link to the list. All those wonderful food. Even so called designer pastries from some french guy names pierre herme which own's high class pastry shops with the label PH a.k.a Pierre Herme. It does look very "designer" ;P. Sigh sigh. food... i want to eat all those glorious food. But no $$$$.

Anyway next experiment is either shephard's pie, again pakai hentam recipe or some potato gratin dish pakai hentam as usual. I dont really like to go by the recipe mainly because i hate looking for the recipe/ all the needed ingredients that are not readily available / measured requirements.

Ok besides food, since i have been spring cleaning i discovered a new use for a tall shot glass ? Ah the one that laine bought for us last time. Hmmmm come to think of it. Laine so tall the shot glass u really was trying to get us drunk once we decided to use it ah ;)
anyway's before it is use for its main purpose, it shall temporarily be my earring display unit/holder . Behold :

the colors realy come together. Not all the earrings are up yet though.

Anyways thats all for now. Need to sleep wei. its late.

2006-01-20T12:12:00.000+08:00

Read this today. I am just shaking my head now. What came into my mind after a while was, Iraq/ Saddam Hussien. Although perhaps their main aim isn't exactly similar. But one should wonder what kind of society are we living in which needs a spy committee to be formed to ensure others live like what is deemed proper. Is this the extent we need to go to to make sure everyone confirm to society's or rather in this case a particular religion's mold. Eventhough this issue does not effect me, it still makes me wonder if it doesn't seem a little extreme. And not only do i think this does not solve problems, I can see how more problems might arise from this. The act of spying, I believe harbours a lot of unhealthy psychological effects, for the person doing it as well as everyone else which have the potential of being spied on. First of all, i believe that any righteous person who have half a sane mind, will not believe in the notion of spying, for whatever cause. So those that volunteers for such a job would probably be some over zealous person who in one way or another have a extremist streak. So if that is the case, it might come to a point where false accusations might surface due to lack of "results" in their spying. And as for the general public that are being spied on, it creates an environtment of distrust and paranoia where you wonder which of the people you are with are actually spies.

So is this the kind of society that anyone wants to live in. In the end, what a person chooses to do with their life is only up to themselves. The one thing that i learn from life is that, the harder you try to control a person, the craftier they get at finding ways to do otherwise. No one can change another person without that person wanting to change themselves.

2006-01-16T14:37:00.000+08:00

la la la. Monday in the office and i have nothing to do. How long is this gonna keep up. Anyways, got spent lunch today by..... hmmm i am not sure who. But should be One of the trainee which today is his last day punya supervisor. Since my supervisor and aaron's supervisor is also on friendly terms with him, we got called along too. The first spent lunch here, not that it is mandatory for them to do so. But apperently this trainee which is going away got spent TGIF when he first arrived. So lucky. But going out for lunch with a bunch of people that you barely know is a little stressful in a way that you don't really know how to act. It is even worst in a situation like chinese style meal where u scoop food off dishes in the middle of the table. I always hate eating with strangers this style. But oh well, today was a chinese style thing. So i stick to easy to eat stuffs and leave harder to reach stuffs alone. Nothing much interesting happened other than hearing snippets of interesting convo about this person or that. I am totally bored now.

p.s: you cannot imagine how cha doh i was when while my supervisor was explaining somthing to me and i was looking at my phone on the table, praying no smses will come and out of no where it just tinkled to announce incoming messages. Sigh..... such is the browns law. Well at least i have something to do today. Only problem being my supervisor will not be around for 3 days

edit: random thoughts, but it just hit me how long pregnancy is. 9 months sounds very extremely scary

2006-01-15T22:30:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a girls night out again. Looks like the "sisters" have finally gotten back on track. I guess these are the kind of friends which you know, no matter what is here to stay. There are friends which will drift apart after not meeting up for a long time, and once they meet again just becomes awkward and stays awkward, while some do warm up again and there are those that no matter how long being apart will just pick up where they left. At the begining i actually thought everyone would have just drifted apart after hardly being able to find time to meet up, making me feel as if some are just being plain unaccomodating some times and not making the effort. But i guess it was really hard to find time before this. And now saturday nights are open for any organized meet up.

You know how you read in the magazine that u have different groups of friends to cater to your many different aspect of needs in life. The first time i read that, i was slightly indignant, feeling as if i have just been put into such a one dimensional role. But i guess the truth is, this is kinda true in some ways. But then again there are friends which do really fit in to most aspects of your lifes so i guess it all depends. But at the moment, i guess i have categoric friends, and i think it is actually good for the pocket, because i can't imagine having every group of friends which are into doing the same thing i.e. trying out different cuisine or clubbing etc, etc. Because it is pricey, and if every week one group decides to eat above average restaurants, i probably wont be able to keep up and along the way stop hanging out with either one group. Not to mention how boring my life will be.

So anyways for now this is the bunch i will call on when i feel like trying some exotic stuffs not that we dont go to mamak for the rest of the time la. That or they will be the one that suggest it. The last time was spanish. This time is something of switzerland origin which is fondue. You can read all aboutit here.I wanted to try that for a long time but never knew where. So when Alli suggested fondue, i was pretty much excited. This place was in hartamas located in one of the quiter corner near clun cassablanca i think away from the main busier area. If i am not wrong the shop name is The Fondue Place. The ambience was a little different than i had imagine, but it is a fun place for family meals as well. And in fact it is a very well recieved place as when we reached, the place was almost filled to the brim, only having a table in the smoking area available. But the shop wasn't really big but not small either so.... The crowd is pretty varied as there are families as well as younger crowds. Later on we managed to move in to the none smoking area as none of us smokes anyway. The menu is 90% fondue but they offer some western dishes as well. But i think ppl that go there and order something else are just idiots. The pricing is not too bad for a set for 3 - 4 ppl sharing, which comes down to about 10 ++ per person. But for the type of food offered i think it is just so so. They had stuffs like bread, biscuit, some vege, then prawns, chicken & fish fillets, crab stick and a basket of fries. But the main deal is of course the cheese. There is a number of cheese mixture which we could choose from. The one we took was bacon cheese. honestly i didnt think the seafood which was deep fried was quite suitable for fondue. It would have been just right if it was just chicken and vege plus bread. Plus the cheese wasn't reall sufficient for the amount of food they have.

the cheese pot

what the entire set looks like

later, we decided to give th chocolate fondue a go as well. This comes with a choice as well, and we took the whickey chocolate fondue which comes with a shot of whiskey. We had a choice to add how much whiskey we like but what is the point of keeping some anyway, since we wont drink it. So in everything went. And we got the mixed platter with cakes and apples and mango and star fruit and the best were of course banana and strawberry but not to forget grapes. That one was also so so for the pricing but the chocolate was absolutely yummy. But pity that there was so much left over and nothing much can be done about it. What a waste of good chocolate not to mention whiskey. We took lots of pictures too ;). Anyways the whole meal with drinks came down to rm 23 ish per person.

the whiskey pouring process

since the group photo cannot make it. The role call of the night is as below

jenni + daphi + me

me + linlin+ alli

2006-01-13T15:25:00.000+08:00

changed my layout. Or rather tweaked it. I wanted to write my own codes but somehow when i reviewed the codes they use in blogger it looked intimidating. I know it is basically almost the same with normal html tags and all. But mostly it is done programming style with all the { and }. I dunno how that works yet. So so far what i did was choose a template that suites what i want to achieve and then change some codes here and there to get what it is now. I took away the wrapper that keeps all the contents in the middle i guess. So everything seems less claustrophobic. Added the banner on top where the normal mono colored banner was. But the graphics was from somewhere else. So erm credits to the person that made it. Sorry i didnt manage to remember where i got it from. I was just googling for min woo. Anyways i will try to write with the normal code that i originally learned for a new layout and see if that works. before this i was wondering how you get the post to be posted on the page when u post on blogger. But i think now i know how that works. All those blogger special tags thingy. Ya the wonders of IT. There is so much i want to post about. But i guess we will see how that goes, coz i am wondering if i should go home early

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I am still here. Didn't take off earlier coz i can't find my supervisor to tell him i am leaving. Looks like he has tons more things to do then meets the eye. But most of the time nothing much which i can learn from. Or whatever the reason. Sigh, what a drag. I am here but there isnt much that i can learn. And it gets to a point where he actually got me to go with him so that he can "guide/ show" me how to do something in which is quickly finished and i need not do further work after he is gone. And on days when i do not have work. I am kinda expected to do personal research into what is being done. But honestly i don't feel the motivation since this isnt the field which i am really interested with. what with metallurgical studies and capacitors and what nots. Exactly why i am glad i didnt take E&E eventhough i originally contempelated to take it. That was also because i was more interested in the programming and telco side of it. Oh well. But it kinda makes me feel bad. As if i am this bumm that just isnt bothered and instead do unrelated stuffs. But i really rather be programming now. Anyways the third month is quickly ending. But it still seems so long more till i will be free. Chinese new year is only about 2 weeks away though. But doesnt seem like much. Everything just seems so mellow lately. Things are not the same anymore. And then class will be starting another 3 weeks after cny hols. Its long when u look at how long i still need to work but short when it comes to going back to class alr.

So about going back to class. Sort of sorted out my timetable which is extremely complicated due to all this syllabals change. Sigh sigh. And it can't be helped that i have to extend another extra semester to complete my course. So i better not fail anymore. But seriously i don't want to and don't plan to fail anymore. So becuase i can no longer opt to redo the subjects which i failed previously, i had to meet my course coordinator to help me work something out. But every time i meet him he is still hasn't manage to confirm his advice, even if he was the one that set the meeting date. Sigh. So finally hr passsed the baton to me to arrange the way i want to do my remaining subjects to me. Which i gladly took. Because honestly, i could have originally did that after he adviced me on the subjects i need to take for the replacement. So i did that and sent him the breakdown and he dully agreed that i could do it that way.

So now i have 5 subjects each for next 2 sem and for 2007 sem 1 i will be doing 2 subjects. My thesis could only be started in sem 2 this yr since by then i would have better had met the missing 4 credit points requirement from yr 3 to do it. Sometimes i wonder is it the way that i look at things which is kinda screwy, or is it life always has better plans for me. Because the way i look at is it that, this arrangement doesn't seem all that bad actually. But i guess it could be better to finish it with the rest of my batch so that we can graduate together as well as me earning my $$ moolah and starting my career earlier. But then again, there seems to be some pretty good points withstanding those and not to mention having to cough up quite a sum of $$. And he good points are, firstly i have an extra 3 months in the middle of the end yr break for me to research my thesis thouroughly, as Oon-Ee has most eagerly pointed out. Which i think a person like me could really use anyways. Then there is the part where I might be able to get a better choice for my thesis guidance lecturer as they would be less contender for the list of lecturer available in the 2nd sem batch. But that would have to depend on how the system work, and if the same lecturers are in the list for our batch.
Other than that, i guess about the moolah part, i will be earning my keep too when the time arrives, as i will only have to work on 2 subjects. One being entirely research based. The rest of the time which i think i will have at least enough of, would hopefully be used working as a lab assistant if possible. That is the ultimate job choice, since it is the best paying job i can afford to do. Then the money would be used to fund my extra sem there. Even if not, i will see what i can do with my part time job choices. That i guess i will have to work out some how or other. But most importantly i need to have enough time for my research as well. Wow, i already have my entire yr and a half planned out. Lets hope that the plot will not be lost, although exeprience tell me that i am not the best at keeping to the plot.

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On another note, I was watching a korean drama yesterday and something sort of struck me. There was a part where this guy asked the girl (it was in english btw, the guy was a mix korean fr USA) " Come on, tell me what's wrong" and she says "nothing". But even so the guy just went on to say " something IS wrong, coz everytime you are this bubbly and all giggly, the actual fact is something is really wrong".

OK i am not sure what was the exact word they used, but you get the gist of it. Then lately i have been kinda stressed out, and for the pass 2 days or so i have been acting quite kooky. And Oon-Ee was shaking his head at my incoherent sentences and just plain nuttyness. Not that you guys don't find this the norm. But really, does anyone wonder if anything was wrong. But i guess i have been that way for a while now.

So what was the source of stress, if not one of the many? I haven't manage to blog about this, but almost a week or more ago, the pipings under our house which supplies water to the entire house burst/crack. What happen really was one night my when my brother came back from work, he discovered a puddle of water at the foot of the stairway and asked why no one cleaned up after spilling something. The puddle was too huge to be spilt drinks though. Later we discovered it came from under the stairs. My first thought was. "dark water" :P. aduh. But that was quickly discounted since it came from below not on top. Not to mention how ridiculous i am sounding.

So somehow or other, it was realized that the next door neighbour did some piping/ drilling/ good knows what else in the day prior to the discovery at night. So speculation was spawned as to how they could have possibily cause the damage to out pipes. But that was discounted by the contractor the neighbours hired to do the job. A little fishy if u ask me. But there is no way really to prove that. So innocent until proven guilty it is. But my grandmother which has a tendency to think she is always right, insist till now it was the neighbours fault. What was thought to be a minor problem however, prove to be something else. It is originally thought that the damage wasn't that bad and water can actually flow to the respective pipes/ tanks albeit lower pressure. Even so, a contractor of our own has alr been contacted. But we waited and waited and waited, but he nv came. So we turned down the main pipe only turning it back on when we needed to bath/cook. But it was finally discovered after days of no show that the water wasnt reaching the upstairs tank at all because when i wanted to bath, no water came out of the pipe. But that is not why i am stress. So since water isnt reaching where it was suppose to it has to go somewhere during the time it is on, since my grandmother can still get water in the kitchen as it comes straight from the main pipe. It ended up flowing in the ground under our house.

And the result showed in causing the floors in the neighbours house to crack up due to errosion. That was when we found out how serious it was. Now they want us to pay for their repairs. Oon-Ee was wondering how is it that the ground tips towards our direction, but the neighbours house was affected instead of ours. I wonder too. And some commotion was caused between my grandmother and the neighbours when they came over to find my dad. She insist they were the ones that burst our pipes. But there really is no way of finding out anyways. But the floors i guess is inavitable, even if it isnt entirely our fault, which just pisses me off how there was nothing we could have done about it as the contractor kept breaking his promise to come. What a great way to start the yr. And with cny coming. it just sux. And you think things could never get worst.

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anyways there has been a song that i have been listening to lately, which i absolutely fell in love with. So here is the lyrics :

it often doesnt matter how its start

the best things can happen with a gentle touch

i'm not ashame to say

i would be more than ok

if by some chance you just asked me to stay

do i see a twinkle of hope thats in your eyes

when you smile it feels so right its no surprise

its only you and i under the stars of tonight

you need to take it to where its feels right

how do i see

whats right for me

do i deny whats inside

if i had wings i would fly

lifting my sould to the sky

if i had nine lifes to live

wish i had u to be with

if i can make wish come true

of all the thing i will do

i know tat i will be wishing for you

dont get me wrong i dont play the life of dreams

but sometimes its easier for me what does it feel so right

living it day and night

wishing that some day you might be with me

2006-01-06T14:47:00.000+08:00

Ah first post of the new year. Wanted to write on new yr day its self but no motivation. I have to say that this yrs or rather last yr at this point, new years eve was a tad bit mellow as compared to running away from dogs and erm yam chaing and talking our heads off or erm .... what did we do last yr ah. Anyways, nevertheless there were still fireworks and friends i guess. So a new yr has arrived nothing much really special, but i finally went to the curve for the first time and ikea as well. Ya, i know that's sad. What to do, i nobody bring me go. No ah boy to bring me go date date makan makan ;). Ah well.

So quickly another yr passes. And every year i say its scary. I wonder what this year will bring. hmmm perhaps some sweet surprises. But i am afraid every year it is same old same old. I wonder when will life take on a new zest. Its alr 6 days into the new year, no zest in sight. What do i want to do more this new year? What makes the days in a new year different than the other? Well either way, what i want to see more of this yr? more confidence in every aspect definitely, more happiness.more money ? ha ha ha. more initiative in doing things that i say i want to do. more fun. more forgiveness. more maturity. more courage.

So have i changed in the past year? I think so. Not on the surface, but in the inside. Not very evident. My thoughts have slowly but surely evolved. I realized many things, made peace with myself on some stuffs as well and understood many things. But then again there are also areas which i unknowingly became less tolerant about and i am not sure if that is a good or a bad thing. It is really interesting how when you reflect back on yourself at different time of your life, what you see is so different. And i can't help but laugh, sometime at all those "phases" that i have been through. So what do you all think.

Anyways about the last post. Interestingly enough, the person i was talking about has finally realized that her way of dieting isnt really the "way" to go. Now she realizes that her way of dieting makes her feel fatigued during the day. And the magazine she read, tells her she can loose 3 kg a week when i read somewhere that it is not healthy to loose more than 0.5kg a week. How irresponsible of this magazines to print such an unhealthy way to loose weight. But oh well, another one has succumbed to another recipe of dieting. No carbo just fruits. So cest la vie. que sera sera. Hmmm i shall not be judgemental.

Anyways, i am very curious who this paling rajin di antara semua is. If you are reading this, do tell. The phrase sound familiar and i have some one in mind. But i would like confirmation 1st.

2005-12-29T16:02:00.000+08:00

Had lunch with the almost usual bunch today at the cafeteria sans a few ppl. And what you talk about when there is food around? Well food :P. But that wasn't really the reason we talked about food anyway. We were discussing on where to have lunch 2morrow. And since 2morrow is the last day of the work week before the end of the year, jun heng suggested we eat somewhere nicer to have a pre-celebration. Since we wont see each other till next year.

But oh well when it comes to talk of food, and there is girls there most of the time the word diet will come up. I have to admit i am guilty of such, at one time or another. But all those are just talk, well at least i think so. I eat anyway, in moderation at least. Diets, i have been through a few "not eating" episodes when i was much younger. But those are just a couple of days kind of thing or a skipped dinner or lunch here and there. I wasn't at any point even close to aneroxic if i can say so myself. Unless of course Rae might wanna add anything to that. I used to tell her i enjoy the feeling of hunger. Hmmmm does that sounds aneroxic? I can't really explain. But she used to look at me like i was nuts. I was a small eater anyway. My family is, therefore i am. So sharing meals with friends were pretty normal with me until Rae of course. Her family is the epitome of live to eat (:P dont kill me) So for her sharing is out of the question as the basic meal is probably just scratching the surface. But after hanging with her long enough, i turned into a monster :P. Ha ha ha ( seriously i hope i dont get killed) But i think i am still consider a small eater as compared to the rest.

Anyways back to dieting. So this girl which most of us, including oon ee has been exasperated enough time explaining to her she doesn't need to diet, started complaining that if we went to get nicer food, that she can't eat coz she was on a diet. Ah well old habit die hard. Any sane human who sees her will agree with us that the last thing she needs to do is diet. She is just about right, right now. And bad enough she is petite, if she lost anymore weight she would fly with the wind. Sigh. This kinda nonsense really gets to me sometimes. Abit of a kill joy. This actually happened before a few days back when i asked her when she wants to go on a celebration dinner for us getting HD for our group project. When i suggested dinner since it is more convenient that way, after work and all she shot it down saying she doesnt eat dinner. Another form of her diet. Ah well if dinner is out and looking at this, lunch is another diet plan forget about the celebrations. Kill joy, kill joy, kill joy.

Anyway, she seems so bent on dieting that she has been talking about dieting for as long as i can remember. And for some one that doesnt need it, it is a little too much a little too long. But i guess i should " not borrow other ppl's problem" Its just that this kinda thing just gets to me a little, how society molded all this girls into unhealthy dieters. I still say if you want to loose weight eat right and exercise. Otherwise just don't bother trying to be stick thin. And for the guys that like stick thin girls and wouldnt bother otherwise. Screw you!

But so far i see the trend with my circle of friends, are either they don't bother or they are trying to plump up their girlfriends. But plumping up might be slightly of another issue. So love us for who we are ,fats, celulite and all. And girls be proud of your body and do things the right way. Not eating is just going to kill your metabolic rate. Eat in moderation. Just make sure u eat.

2005-12-29T13:37:00.000+08:00

Counting now, i realize that it was almost three years back that i was working in coffee bean. That was right before i started my 1st year. Seems like such a long time ago putting it that way. But going by memory it just doesnt feel that long.
Ever since i worked there, I think i could count with my fingers how many times i went back. At first it was partly because of how sick i was of that place after being there almost every other day for 3 months. Then it was mostly because i couldn't really afford it. I did not visit any other coffee bean outlets more than my finger can count either. But i do like their coffee alot
So last week i went back there to get myself an ice blended which i had a voucher for from the cleo birthday bash goodie bag. You can't imagine how happy i was to see that peice of paper. I like normal coffee but good coffee is just a little more different. But they are expensive so i stick to my kopi bings and nescafe 3 in 1. So i think you can imagine the heaven it was working there in this point of view. But..... there is always a but, more on that later. So i since i went shopping alone, i decided to get my ice blended around the time i was to leave. Hmm well walking in there was like, " hey i used to be the one behind the counter". And " hey, i wonder how the kitchen looks like now". Then i realized i kinda missed working there abit. Not that the days there weren't shitty. But life is about taking all the shits and turning it into experiences i guess. I know everytime someone mentions working there again, i shiver at the thought. And the night shifts is really hell. You have to clean up the whole place, put the tables and chair in the shop (a lot of arm exercise there), wash everything up including the drain, bring in all the cakes and the list goes on. And they dont pay you for the hour that u take to do that because they think we are superhumans. But the esperience really depends on who is ur manager. I had mostly 3/4 of the time or more worked with shitty to slightly shitty managers of the day. But the main manager is the absolute heaven to work with. Unfortunately i don't see her often enough.
But all in all, i guess working is a good experience. Teaches us to treat ppl better, I think everyone should really get this kinda a job. Especially spoilt brats that think the world revolves around them.

2005-12-22T16:09:00.000+08:00

I know i left the post before this hanging. It was suppose to be saved as a draft but i accidently posted it. Anyways i will update that later. As of now i would like to post a hopefully thought provoking post. I know i haven' really posted much of those lately. but i can assure u that, that doesn't mean i haven't been thinking. In fact i have been thinking lots. Just that i did less of brooding over the issue. I just don't want to be constantly having a heartbreaking feeling following me around. I have enough of those alr. So that basically means that once i sit down to blog. Which doesn't get to happen too often now adays. Which doen't help the situation one bit, I forget what i wanted to say.

But this thought has been hovering around for quite some time now. So I decided it is about time I put it down in words. So here goes.

You know how it is that as you grow older ppl around you grow older as well. Sometimes we fail to notice this. Wishing to think that our parents will still and always remain how we remember them to be when we were the kids that was without a care. This applies to those with grandparents as well. We just forget that they grow old too. Well i think one way or other i did too until one day you just finally realize that they really aren't as young as they use to be anymore. More white hairs, more wrinkles and illnesses and all. The thought is pretty depressing.

Like i say, this thought has been hovering over my head for some time, but just recently, michelle's grandma was admitted to the national heart institute for blocked arteri. The initial diagnosis was that its not a big deal and she just needs to be there for observation. Then the other day, they say she needs to be operated on for one arteri. But when the brought her in to the operating theatre, they found that they couldnt operate yet because there was 3 arteri blocked instead. She tried to call me for some one to talk to, but regretfully i did not hear the phone. I called back later, and found out about that. I am really worried for her and her grandma.

As of late I really have developed a phobia of people dieing on me. Its not really to do with the whole tons of ppl died around the world disastor thing. But i think i really have my fill of family deaths for the yr and even the time being. Thinking about it, the way they went gave enough room to not be paralyzed with grief, since it was the better way out, than the option of living and suffering. They are hopfully at a better place now.

And thinking about it, the time we had together was long enough to develop fondness but short enough to have a slight disattachment. And thus thinking about this, i wonder how my mom felt as they were her parents. The kind of slight disattachment i feel can never apply to her. And from there i wonder how i will handle it when it comes my turn. But besides that, it has come to a point now that, i find myself thinking, pls don't let anyone i know go anytime soon, because i really don't know how to handle another one. And i mean anyone at all.

They say life is about birth and death. And i get it. Just let me get my bearings before anymore stuffs happens. And make it a good long time.

2005-12-18T23:19:00.000+08:00

What a weekend. Havent had an early night at home. In fact i havent been home for a whole night. The hols is really something. But top it with working and its a whole new ball game. Since the day is all spent in the office, the only time to come out and play is during the night.

As for this weekend, it was Michelle's bday on friday. But since she was suppose to be in genting, no actual celebration was planned. But because of her grand ma having some arteri problem they came back earlier because all of them were worried sick. So finally we manage to catch up with her to give her her bday present and get her to blow out the candles for her 21st on the actualy day itself.

this was the watch we got her

tiramisu

2005-12-16T08:43:00.000+08:00

oh i just finally discovered i can log in to blogger using this comp at the office. Currently waiting for break time coz me and another person is suppose to double check for rejects in the die. So i rather let him go 1st. Hopefully he doesnt have the same idea.

Anyway I finally got to see the pics from Rae's cam which was all from last yr. (But still got some missing just in case u didn't realize Rae ;P But i know u are busy so take ur time. But don't make it another yr ya :P) Anyways, congrats girl you are finally a graduate. So proud of ya.

And back to the pics. Wow that was alot of memories from last yr. Looking at the pics just makes it seem so wierd this yr since Rae is not around. Its seriously so wierd, something missing. Its like i keep seeing Rae in the pic, and the current round of pic is lacking so many people. Its like so quiet alr *sob*. Even now laine is back in Melaka. So its just the 5 of us for the hols. Not as noisy a group anymore. I really wonder when will this ever be possible again. Since the mid yr hols even with Rae coming back (And i really hope you do!) Suet might not come back. But accordind to her she will miss her family too much not to come back. But who knows ;P who she might miss over there if she had come back. And then Laine might come back to KL but she will be working by then. Jin Hui wont be back. But that is another story. Daphi will be working as well. *SOB* I am rambling. Sigh ..... But anyhow, whatever it is, i still wanna spend time with you Rae. I also miss those days when you just crave for whatever you crave for and we two crazy fella go and cari makan. At the mean time i will be trying very hard to loose weight to keep up with ur raging appetite.Those are really good old days.

photo posting for the rest coming up soon

2005-12-13T23:16:00.000+08:00

This is the pic of the show i am so crazy for. This is my third time watching. But i only watch all the dance parts so ;)

2005-12-12T14:00:00.000+08:00

Sigh, sigh , sigh. Am watching innocent steps, a korean movie for th 2nd time. This time with subtitlescoz the 1st time i didnt know i was suppose to turn it on. I know there will be many cringing. I know how some of u feel about korean movies. Most of them that are teeny booperish love comedy are running on so old a plot you could almost narrate the whole show urself.

But rest assured this is no typical goofy love hate affair where guy hates girl/girl hates guy and then wham bam thank you and the next moment they discover miraculously that they do love each other. Innocent step makes much more sense then that. In fact there isnt really a wham bam thank you kinda love affair but one that is actually slightly gut ranching and sense making. But above all else, what can really make me fall in love with a show more than anything is the dance scenes. It is just absolutely breath taking. And the song that they use for the dance is also absolutely touching.

Not withstanding this show, it has been a long time that i wanted to take up latin dancing. Especially rhumba and salsa. I really like how emotional the dance is. Especially rhumba which is suppose to be the dance of love. So my future husband better not have two left foot or that will be very sad. Now i have one more detail to add to my wedding besides wanting to play T's song which i forgot the title, i want to dance rhumba with my husband during the wedding reception as our 1st dance. Omg i can't believe i am actually planning my wedding alr. Looks like this kinda stuff can't escape even me of all person. Sigh ......

At the mean time i need to decide if i want to continue with hip hop or move on to latin. But both also means having to come up with money which i have limited of.

2005-12-05T23:42:00.002+08:00

omg the comp that i have is so freaking slow. Anyways somehow i am being made to eat my words about notbeing able to blog in the office since i am doing this for the 2nd time in a row today. The reason for this is because after half day worth of training to do cross sectioning i am left with another half a day that is free. My supervisor thinks i deserve a rest. So here i am supposedly taking this time to write my report but am actually multi tasking e.g blogging and *ahem* reading some acedemic related stuffs.

I guess i am not complaining since i get to use the comp anyway. So far i have been reading on the GPS stuffs(which i now learnt is different from GPRS one being Global Positioning system and the latter being General Packet Radio service) since i am interested to see if it can be used for one of my ideas. Will see how much i can gather from the internet and if i get any more bright ideas on how i can use it. Feel like perhaps expanding the tracking robot to higher technology. But that is just my thoughts. Nothing t do with the project group that I was with. Though a simple infra red signal was enough fr us to get a HD. But i am not complaining really. And the obstacle avoidance system can use some work as well. It was actually still buggy when we demoed. But that could be due to our infrared reciever which was playing havoc with our microcontroller due to the sucky mounting which is actually my fault anyway. Oops! thought the way we secured it was good enough to avoid short circuits.

As random as it is, since i mam typing this not in a continous time mode, i decided to give a simple japanese lesson today. Not sure who is this going to benefit but at least it will help me to remember some of the stuffs i have been trying to self learn.

Lesson 1

good morning - ohayo gozaimasu

how are you? / are u healthy ? - O genki desuka

how do you do ? - hajimemashite

my name is .... - watshi no namae wa .... desu

nice to meet you - dozo yuroshiku/ yuroshiku onegaishimasu

thank you - arigato gozaimusa

you're welcome - do itashi mashite

excuse me - sumimasen

i'm sorry - gomenasai

i speak alittle japanese - watashiwa nihongo sukoshi hanashimasu

2005-12-05T23:42:00.001+08:00

Lesson 1

good morning - ohayo gozaimasu

how are you? / are u healthy ? - O genki desuka

how do you do ? - hajimemashite

my name is .... - watshi no namae wa .... desu

nice to meet you - dozo yuroshiku/ yuroshiku onegaishimasu

thank you - arigato gozaimusa

you're welcome - do itashi mashite

excuse me - sumimasen

i'm sorry - gomenasai

i speak alittle japanese - watashiwa nihongo sukoshi hanashimasu

2005-12-05T23:42:00.000+08:00

I'm in the office typing this out. Ironically when i complained about not being able to blog when i am in the office it is proven wrong.. the only problem is the comp is freaing slow and more importantly i need to watch my back to make sure no big shots are around since we are only suppose to use the comp for work purpose.

So what should i blog about 2day. Unfortunately i don't have anything light in mind. And i don't feel like blogging about some dark heavy stuffs which i have plenty to since it is alr a dark gloomy morning. And my shoes and socks are all wet from the walking to office. Sigh.....

Anyway i think i didn't maanage to blog about this yesterday, but i manage to score 3 books for around rm 17 plus. Is that a bargain or what. But i know Oon-Ee will digress since 17 not spent is 17 saved as he puts it. But since i am not one to be able to afford books on normal days but always felt like getting some this is really nice. The only problem? It isn't exactly what i long to buy on normal days either. These 3 books are fictions. But one is on a wine making family so i am banking on learning something there another one is i think about a guy who is trying to get ppl to see what a fake life they were living or something, but alas he fell into the trap as well. And the last is a three romance novel in a book kinda thing which i picked up last minute since i saw it at the counter and it cost rm 5. Which i was looking for one cheap one but couldn't find till then. There was a book which i had wanted to get for sometime although i doubt these 2 books were fr the same author. The first one i saw at Times book store and was entitled The dragon lady. The one saw yesterday was the last emperess. The 1st one cost rm 70 which is really alot. And the 2nd one I wasn't sure. That was because it was stated the price as nett rm 43 but i thought it was after discount since there was another book, both hardback mind u, that went for 19.90 with a 70% discount. So i expected it to be after discount. Turns out the 19.90 book only cost rm 6 ish and that means the last emperess book should have cost rm 21 plus. Not dirt cheap but for such a book i would say worth it since it is a non-fiction.

oh well. I guess i will have to get that at normal price once i can afford it and have the time to read it.

Hmmm for some one who dont know what to say when started i sure always manage to yak my way through. Alright thats all for now pictures for la bodega will be up soon

2005-12-05T21:07:00.000+08:00

I went for la bodega the 2nd time last Saturday with the old bunch of high school friends ( Daphi, Jenni, Alli, Lyd and Lin Lin) and it was actually a pretty enjoyable experience. I did not blog about the 1st time i was there eventhough initially i was super hyped to go there because i was disappointed with the outcome of our orders.

So anyway, at 645 the entourage arrived at my house. And all six of us were packed into a Wira( it wasn't that bad really. except maybe for alli's butt) And we headed down to Bangsar with Jenni driving. Reached around close to seven i guess. I am not sure since i didnt check the time. And parking in Bangsar apparently is hard to find even at a normal hour minus the drinking ppl. Imagine the havock when the party really begins. I seriously pity the ppl living in Bangsar. Anyways, we finally found a parking somewhere. Everything is a walking distance so we just grabed the next car park we could find. And it was off food hunting. Since La bodega was just one of the many options. There were a few viable restaurant. We almost ended up in a lebanese restaurant which was suppose to have belly dancing, but since it might be spicy and alli's throat wasn't doing too well we decided to pass. Maybe next time. I am always game for something new. So La bodega it was.

I think the question that some of u ppl might be asking is why on earth did i decide to go back there then. The reason is actually that i thought they had a different menu for their bar & restaurant and their deli outlet which is just situated next to each other. Well i found out otherwise. But that they have a seperate menu for main dishes other than paella. But alas we did not go for that. Instead we still ordered the paella which had me dissapointed the 1st time around. And we also got some entrees which we had the waitress recomend. We had the button muchroom sauted with garlic and something i think and some lamb meatballs. And we had that with a basket of very nice soft french bread i think. The bread with the sauce was heavenly. And if u were to eat there and dont want the main meal i think u can get full by having an entree with bread. Which would cost u maybe less than rm 10 minus drinks? . But the bread is for the whole table la. I actually debated whether to order alcoholic drinks since i wasnt sure if they were going drinking later. But i couldn't resist the call of my chardonnay which i really missed for sometime. That set me back rm 16 but was definitely worth it since the wine was pretty smooth. And finally the paella came and lo and behold. It looks absolutely fabulous with clams and prawns and mussels. filling the pan. It wasn't that measily 3 mussles 3 prawn thing that i had the last time we went.

this was what i was expecting.

Anyways we had fun taking pictures and doing a little catching up. We later decided to find a nice place for maybe desert when we stumbled upon this bistro which i forgot the name. The down stairs was something close to a cafe but somehow we ended upstairs because downstairs had quite a few people. But the upstairs was cool too, except what i expected to be desert turned out to be a second glass of alcohol. The ambience upstairs is actually quite nice. And there was even a cute waiter/bartender. I dunno he was doing both. Ah too bad didnt get to chat him up ;).

These are some of the pics we took. The combinations are a bit wierd but then again everyone was a litle lazy to move around to take pictures so where we mostly sat was where we took our pics ;)

It was fun, but i think i need to conserve money since it is just the begining of the month and i alr splurge 50 plus out of my 200. But maybe going down for drinks again this fri that is if suet wants to go. Someone has gotta teach me the art of mesmerizing a guy enough to buy me drinks ;). ha ha ha. Anyway i think i might just get a beer. But that isnt cheap either. RM 18 wei. Wa seh really need to keep my word on, the hanging at mamak statement liao. At least i can survive with rm 2.

2005-12-01T21:10:00.000+08:00

I haven't been online much lately due to tight schedule. I have been out out and out almost everyday. And i seriously can't believe it. At least i can't say working during the hols is a drag, since i still get to do normal crazy holiday stuffs. Only it happens at night and during the weekends as well. It is getting to a point where i wonder when do i get to stay at home to rot.

As for updating this blog with the many interesting things i have done as well as any thoughts i come across, well i really wonder how do all these ppl do it. When i get home, all i can think about is just sitting there and relaxing for a while and then going to sleep. Especially since these three days i have been coming home mostly at 10 - 12. And yes there is work the next morning. So this means the more happening my life is the less this blog gets updated since i wont have the time for it. But i guess for some there is always the time at the office where the computer is readily available. But that is not me.

Anyways, besides monday's dinner, tuesday we decided to try out the latin class that celebrity fitness has to offer since me, suet and mich has 7 days free trial period at celebrity fitness. Class was at 7 so i went right after work. The class was not bad, but it was almost non-stop 1 hr class. Everytime the instructor say " from the top" , I gave michelle a horrified look. Then after that they went for dinner. But as it is with people that met after months of being away, we have lots to talk. But even if that was not the situation we still have lots to talk. So u can imagine. At last I only reached home at 11. Then yesterday was Yam cha session with the old "sisters" Jennifer and all. And we haven't met in ages, so what yam cha session which started at 830 only ended at 12 plus. Ah well, we are girls after all.

After last nights yam cha session did i realize how much i have been drifting and not keeping up with this set of friends. And without realizing it, i have been missing this one part of my old life including the many other parts that I am aware of. It is true that different group of frens brings different things to the table. And at the moment i think my "table" is missing a lot of stuffs. With next year coming, another bunch of things are going to leave my table. With people going off to study and some others starting their career. Its kinda getting depressing. And even if it is an opportunity to go out and gather new stuffs to put on the table e.g new friends. It is not always as easy as it sounds. With tight schedules and all. And somehow i just can't see the bridge that is suppose to lead me to a greener pasture so as to speak. Well either way, life goes on.

So anyway, when i started this post i intended to blog about something that i came across on kenny's site. Seems another blogger has passed on. I went to her blog to see what it was all about and when i read her post, it just feels so wierd that she is no longer here. It just makes me think, imagine if one day it was my time and one of the things which will hold witness to how i lived my life and reflect my pressence on this earth is my blog. And everything that i thought and done was recorded here. What kind of picture have i painted and how permenant is this foot print. It is very hard to imagine that the day that the final post was written might have been days or hours before the blogger left this earth, not knowing that was going to happen.

Death is ever elusive,
coming from no where,
to claim what is deemed due,
with a beat of the heart,
and all is over,
no more heart beat,
no more breathe,
all is cold and all is quiet,
but only for the sound of grief,
that lingers....

2005-11-28T22:34:00.000+08:00

Alright, and its time for blogging again. Well not that it is a weekly episode thing. Like i have said, i have a thoudsand and one thing i thought of blogging about. But once i sit down to start i cant remember what i wanted to say.

So since i am exhausted to the max today i shall just recall what i did today. Work as usual is work. But after work i was suppose to go dinner with laine. Since she was going back to Melaka i decided to spend her first, since i havent spent all u lovely ppl that chipped in for my present This yr. The rest shall have to wait till my pay comes ya. And see when we can arrange somthing. And Rae u have wait till u get ur pretty butt back here.

Dinner was at secret recipe since both of us havent had secret recipe cakes for ages. And i have been dying to try their chicken stuffed with cheese thingy. But i was dissappointed to find that it was not available. If i know ho, maybe i might not go there lo. But too exhausted to think alr lo. If not i would have moved.

We did some catching up, since we havent really sat down and talked really really talk for quite some time. But i was kinda tired so i guess my response was kinda lacking. Sorry laine. But honestly i do really miss hanging out with u. Gonna miss u. So i shall be crossing my fingers for u to get a job here soon. In the mean time have fun with ur hols and *hugs*. Wanted to give u a nice fat hug just now. But ;P sudah tak bermaya. Will wait for u to get back to give me a fat juicy hug. Ha ha ha is this sounding too wierd yet.

So here are a few pics of the food. I know this is ending very adruptly but but but...... brain not functioning. Jung Yin Ji I miss the lots of u all la.

excuse my non adjusted pictures. I really have no feel alr right now. Thank you very much and bye bye.

2005-11-24T21:43:00.000+08:00

Sigh another day at work. And i am getting myself stressed out. Stuffs are begining to go wrong. Yesterday i couldn't get my thermocouple reading because the wires within the plug managed to tangle and short itself thus only giving me readings within the box that keeps the heat in. Today the program to get the data from the data logger crashed and all the data was lost. Well manage to solve the 1st problem without needing to get help fr the supervisor. But the 2nd one there is nothing anyone could do about it anyway.

U guys must be wondering what i am talking about. Well its work for one thing. Basically i am suppose to take the temperature reading of something while it goes through a reflow oven. And all i do is wait, wait and wait some more while it goes throught the long oven.

Another thing about going to work and being a trainee is that u get people now and then just starting a conversation with you by asking if you are a trainee, and where are u from. But that only happens when i go to the back entrance where they have a room for ppl to sit down and put on their coats and all before entering. Its pretty nice really to have people being friendly and like telling you good luck and have fun learning and all. ha ha ha. I even had a vendor that came to set up the machine they sold to the comp asking me that yesterday. And we just sort of exchanged some words and today he came back to continue his work and was just a few machine next to mine and when he left he was like " so how is it going ? have fun learning" and all. Ah life :P the little perks that makes things feel peachier. At least u know it isnt such a big and lonely world out there where it is everyone for their own.

Ah one more thing about my work place. When we go to the line everyone is in face mask, so u usually don't quite manage to recognize who is who. But so far i have been improving. I can recognize my supervisor from afar and also aaron's supervisor. But the thing with people that u see in the line and not outside is, its much harder for u to know how they look like without the face mask. Amazingly, one of the engineer i managed to get to know earlier actually recognized me. But the funny thing was. We were both walking out from opposite toilets. And suddenly that fella was like. .. " are u wong" Not exactly how i imagined him to look. But i wasnt sure how i imagined he will look also la. So now i finally met the real face of that fella ha ha ha. Interesting. And i am relieved to say that, the stuffs that i helped him check, the results i got was actually correct. Ha ha ha. I should have more confidence in myself .

Anyway i messed around with photoshop some more :P. Don't laugh la. not expert. Its actually very crappy photoshopping but hey, its just for fun ;)

the original pic

The reason why i am not Su qi. I look too wierd for words with Su Qi style lips. If i ever get plastic surgery, this will remind me i dont need a lip job.

And here is virtual make up

2005-11-23T21:24:00.000+08:00

=

I just got photoshop and guess what i have been doing. These are 2 pics i have been meeing with. Simple stuffs, since i have no time

2005-11-19T21:58:00.000+08:00

I decided to make "shorter" post so that reading it doesn't seem so overwhelming.
So the next agenda on my list would be something that i think i alr told almost all of you. But not all.

So yesterday while walking to cafeteria with just edible food my handphone rang. Picking it up, the person identified herself as Ms Nurul ( btw, after more than once picking up the phone and answering with a not so friendly voice to a number of important and official calls e.g. from potential employers and such, i have made it a point to answer with a more pleasant voice to any number which i do not recognize because i guess its time i learnt to keep myself in check). Since the lady from the HR department where i work is also Ms Nurul, i was wondering why did she call me. But she went on to further ask me if i remember taking part in a "48 hours in Singapore" contest. Of course i do. But when i heard that part my heart just skipped a beat. But hold your horses there ;) i haven't won anything yet. The call was to inform me i am shortlisted as a potential winner. They wanted me to go in to the 8tv studio on monday for an interview. She says there will be a camera man and all. I wonder what for though, since it is only shortlisted people. I wonder how many are on the list. Sigh so many questions so little answer. But then again the winner is doing some shoot to introduce singapore i guess from what i remember reading on the contest details. So i think it is probably a camera test? Sigh i might be on the losing end then because i just started work and i felt that taking leave this early isnt good for that responsible, credible, reliable image. But they say they will call me for and interview as well as asking me to mail them my photo. So if i did not get the call i should know what happened i guess. Pray for me ppl ;) Life has just begun to look more exciting for me. But it can only be so short lifed. Cest la vie